


DAS

by httpjunbob



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: A bit of BinHwan, Dark, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealousy, M/M, Sexual Tension, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24319621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpjunbob/pseuds/httpjunbob
Summary: Junhoe is an uptight, workaholic man but the other man is just being Jiwon. Something happened one night and Junhoe thought it will just end that way. But boy was he wrong.
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 96
Kudos: 94





	1. One Night Sigh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today’s his last day so his friends wanted him to loosen up and drink. But he didn’t know tonight is the start of something...wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for my very great friend, Vaness (@d_kindaeyo) who just dared me to write something... smut. 
> 
> This contains mild sexual content so please take extra precaution. 
> 
> Also, JunBob vlive seems like won’t happen anytime soon and this story is collecting dust and cobwebs so might as well publish it. Or I was just being impatient. But here it is!
> 
> Oops, JunBob happened in Chanwoo Sari 😂

"Attorney Koo, come on! Just leave those case files for tonight!" Donghyuk whined as he force his best friend to clock out early for a drink. They are going to ‘celebrate’ the promotion of the latter from Senior Associate to Equity Partner tonight. But, the party pooper celebrant preferred to read case files than to have fun. Because according to him, his friend has another definition of “fun” and that includes flings and booze.

Junhoe chuckled; head is shaking while closing the pile of papers on top of his desk before standing up to get his coat hanging on the banister. "Okay, alright! I'm going now! Jeez, why are you even frantic? IP Bar won't leave; you won’t run out of boys!" He said shooting sullen glances towards the other man. 

"Koo Junhoe?! Am I the only one excited that you will start your first day tomorrow as the new Kim & Jung's EP?" Donghyuk hysterically asked as he threw his hands in the air.

Working at Kim & Jung for five years (including internship), he managed to climb up to the highest position next to Representative Lawyer in a very short period of time, making him the youngest EP in the firm. And yes, as Donghyuk had said, his promotion will take effect tomorrow as his first day in his new office a few floors above his current where they are right now. 

"Yes, you are the only one. I'd rather stay the night to finish all these cases than to watch you flirt with every guy out there!" He scoffed as he crosses his arms to emphasize that he condones the shenanigans of his friend who is also a Junior Associate in the same Law firm as him. 

Donghyuk clicked his tongue as a reaction before retorting back to his remark. "You are so boring. You won't even pay for the drinks! CEO Jung is already there!" Junhoe shook his head upon hearing the other man’s name, this just confirms his hint that his friend won’t celebrate with him. They have another motive to do so. Why is he even friends with these flirts? When his friends say "drinks" it means finding new flings for one night. 

As soon as he's done parking, before even switching the ignition off, Donghyuk is already outside, closing his car door. He heaved a sigh of defeat. Maybe coming here is a mistake. “Should I go now? Did you just pull me all the way here just to drive your drunken ass home later?" He asked glaring at the man which earned him a hearty chuckle from his best friend. 

"Just get your ass out of here! Quick!" the man called before taking big strides towards the entrance door. Junhoe can’t help but to follow suit.

"CEO Jung!" The JA called loudly because the whole place is already drowned with noise and crowd. Chanwoo, the man who was called, snapped his head towards them and waved his hand. Junhoe saw another man behind Chanwoo, also sitting behind the counter whom he just saw today. He frowned, "I thought it's just the three of us? Damn these scammers!" He muttered under his breath. 

"Attorney Koo!" Chanwoo called to get his attention and he just nodded to respond while he straight ordered a glass of Daniel's immediately to the bartender. 

He mostly drinks alone as he is a certified INFP person. He preferred solitary drinking in a quiet confinement of his apartment and be inside his own personal bubble so when Chanwoo introduced the other man to them he just nodded without really catching his name. 

A few moments later, he already lost his count on the shots he took. His head started to spin so he asked the bartender behind the counter for a glass of water. He has to go back to the firm to continue closing his cases before starting on the new batches tomorrow. He doesn’t want to pass on those unfinished cold cases to the one who will fill in his vacated position. That would just be an irresponsible thing to do.

He is concentrating on his own to stop himself from knocking out when he felt someone's presence suddenly slid on the vacant stool beside him. His two whom-he-thought-were-his-friends already left him to dive in the sea of strangers on the dance floor. He heaved a sigh. He had expected it, but this is getting boring now, might as well excuse himself because he has other more important things to do. 

"Hi." He heard the stranger beside him greeted but, he didn't bother to say _hi_ back. The man beside him turned his seat facing the rowdy dance floor with blue, green and red lights dangling from its ceiling. "Why aren’t you dancing with your friends? Aren’t you fond of places like this?" he added as if he is trying to strike a conversation with him. 

He clicked his tongue and cupped his head. "Nope, I only do come here when I am already tired thinking of reasons to convince my friends that I am not going." He replied as he lean towards the counter top. Damn, his head is suddenly pounding. Clearly, he hasn’t gone far for his drinking habits. He still has low alcohol tolerance. 

The other man went silent indicating that the conversation has died and Junhoe thought it would be better that way. He is not up for any chat after all. Junhoe is about to take his leave while attempting to stand when his head suddenly felt heavy and the floor from where he is standing shook causing him to stumble towards the other person beside him. Luckily, he caught him swiftly which made Junhoe sniff on the man’s smell. Vanilla and lilac soothed his nostrils and he hummed as he close his eyes totally loving the scent.

"Hey, are you okay?" The man asked, linking his arms together to stabilize themselves. As an answer, Junhoe put his arms around the other, too, fully inhaling the hypnotizing odour. He clanged on the man’s broad shoulders at the same time feeling his lean hands keeping him steady on his feet making Junhoe liked the sensation. As a result, he leaned his body closer and hugged the other. 

"Okay, Junhoe-ssi, I think I should take you home now?" The man stuttered making him chuckle not noticing the fact that the stranger knows his name.

He stared at the man, gaze hooding his tipsy dazed eyes. Looking at those deep brown orbs he whispered, "You can take me home” making the man's breathe hitch suddenly. He felt victorious at the effect his intoxicated seduction affecting the man. He’s satisfied with his little act. He then felt the man's hands on him again, guiding his one arm around his shoulder and the stranger's arm on his waist. It was really a good feeling; it felt like he was the last puzzle piece that fits perfectly on the man’s hollowness. 

"Alright, Junhoe-ssi, I need to know where your address is." The brown-eyed man asked softly but Junhoe is more fixated on the comfort of his leather seat and the detaching consciousness because he mad drunk!

"I don't know. Just drop me off somewhere." He drunkenly whined as he finds the perfect comfortable sitting position on the passenger seat.

The man giggled but muttered eventually, "Babe, I just can’t drop you off somewhere. Chanwoo will kill me." 

He threw a sharp look towards the other man leaning forward to contradict his words. "I am not your babe. I don't have a boyfriend!" 

"Okay, okay, just please lean back. I am going to start the car." 

"Let’s go!" Junhoe exclaimed raising one arm in the air as he goes back to his original position. 

By the time the car pulled out from the parking lot, Junhoe immediately opened the door and crawled out of the vehicle. "Thank you so much for the ride. Take care!" He waved and turned his heel walking on tumbling feet. 

The man quickly grabbed his arm. "Junhoe, my room's still up there." He was led to a lift. When they got inside an unfamiliar unit, Junhoe plopped down on the carpet. He can't bear the sudden thumping pain in his head. It's making him tear up and his energy had already run out.

"Hey, are you okay?" The man asked again but he got irritated by it. "Jeez! Can't you see I am having trouble here? Stop asking and just put me down to bed." He said through gritted teeth with slightly annoyed tone. 

"Alright, I'm sorry." He heard the man apologized as he picks him up but his knees wobbled. He stumbled towards the other gain; face just an inch closer from the stranger’s. 

It was the smoothest skin he had seen in his entire life. It's so perfect and pure and porcelain-like. His nose is so sharp holding those tantalizing crescent-shaped eyes and his lips, those pouty, rich and pinkish lips. Junhoe suddenly wanted to have a taste of it. He unintentionally licked his own lips seeing a whole full-course meal in front of him. 

He felt the man's hand on his chest gently pushing him but he lost his senses and grabbed the man's nape with his strong hands kissing those delectable lips passionately. It tasted of cherry and mint with a hint of vodka. God, it tasted wonderful!

He moved his lips carefully, urging the other man to reciprocate the intensity he is giving. The man gave in to his temptation opening his mouth a little more to indulge Junhoe’s searching tongue. His hands trailed to the man's head and cupped it to stabilize their kiss. And lo and behold his pounding headache vanished, what happened instead is that his heart is beating rapidly!

Still in a lust-filled smooch, the man guided them towards the bedroom leaning Junhoe against the door when it closed. He is totally feeling the heat steaming up from both of their bodies. And he felt euphoric.

He returned his hands from the man's nape to gather some strength as he wanted to fold his legs around the man's waist. Upon doing it, his aroused manhood grazed on the man's own creating a thousand wonderful sensations from the contact. The friction is giving Junhoe an otherworldly pleasure making him moan loudly.

Junhoe broke the kiss as he shot his head back; pleasure is creeping in from the touch. "Please, love me." He heard himself say. 

"Are you sure about this? Is it just because you're drunk?" The other asked. 

"Shut up and just kiss me." He impatiently remarked leaning closer again to redo the kiss they have intensely shared a while ago. 

A soft moan escaped his lips when the man moved to get them on top of the bed causing both of their arousal to brush once again creating sparks of delectable desire. Junhoe was carefully laid down as soon as they broke from the kiss to gasp for air. 

"Are you really sure about this, Junhoe? You won't regret it tomorrow?" He is asked once more which Junhoe answered with a nod, breaths bated and gaze filled with unexplainable emotions as he swim deeply on the man’s ocean eyes.

They stared eye to eye for a moment, when the man got the answer to his question, he swiftly stripped Junhoe’s coat off him while Junhoe began exploring the former’s body. He has a big built, not like those body builders have but is physically fit type. He can feel the bumps on the right places making Junhoe felt more sensual. The anticipation for the forthcoming intercourse is rushing in.

He felt those warm lips on him again while the man unsheathes his black long-sleeved shirt. On the other hand, he started to undo the man's top ware revealing a toned washboard abdomen. He traced his fingertips on the lines feeling tiny flames pricking the pores of his fingertips. He exhaled with bated breaths; this feels glorious and intimate.

The man's lips travelled down his neck, scattering wet and audible pecks. He breathed out shakily as he enjoyed what the man is doing. Junhoe wrapped his arms around the man’s torso feeling the warmth of the latter’s body. "Kindly stop your foreplay and let's get to the real deal?" He whined for the umpteenth time today making the man break in to fits of laughter.

"You didn't seem this type of man at the bar a while ago but I see, you have an alter ego.” He commented which Junhoe ignored. He just wanted to satisfy the sudden desire pooling in the pit of his stomach. 

"I know." He replied as he undo the man's pants revealing the aroused bump inside the thin fabric of his white Valentino briefs. He palmed it earning the man's pleasurable moan. His husky groan felt evangelic. Junhoe repeated doing it earning him the same reaction making his eyes roll from the superficial emotion.

Under the sombre light coming from the nightstand, he met the man's gaze and stared at his eyes. It was so dark that Junhoe got drawn to it; he wanted to see what the end of it. He felt like it was like a rainbow where a pot of gold is waiting at the end.

"Kiss me like how you want to be love, Junhoe." The man softly uttered like a devil’s whisper and Junhoe can’t help but indulge himself which the man gave back with equal fervour. Tongue to tongue, body to body; they started their journey towards the fortress where only the both of them knows where.

Junhoe's suit pants were completely undressed from him. And finally, the man peeled of his last wardrobe, his black cotton undergarment, and what sprang out was his long hard shaft, already needing the attention. He felt the man's eyes back to his again and said "You are so beautiful, Junhoe. Can I love you tonight?" 

"Yes" he softly spoke with his hooded gaze. He felt the man's soft lips on his own once again and their hands started to roam around each other's body. The former’s delectable lips tracing his body all the way to his navel making his breath hitch. Pleasure is wallowing in him all the more when the man continued to travel down further.

Finally, the man reached his manhood and Junhoe felt his blood rushed in, emotions surging up as the heat he feels intensifies. The man's hot and wet cavern is completely enveloping his entirety. He moaned deliciously feeling delirious from the sensation. The way the man does him is so satisfying and unique. It was like an appetizer that you keep craving for it. 

He clasped his hands on the man's hair putting more pressure on blowing him. He felt a strong rush that he can't stop. He half howled-half shout as he keeps leading the man's head on his manhood. He buckled his pelvis from the foregoing climax. But it was interrupted when the man worked his way up to his face and whispered "Let's come together, Baby." He whined from the lost attention down there.

The other man's hand trailed on his lips, pushing two fingers inside it which he gladly welcomed with his tongue. He is about to protest when he pulled out those and put it in his own shaft, stroking it, lubricating it.

Junhoe felt ecstatic upon seeing the man stroking his self in front of him. As if a muscle memory, he reached for his and mimics the other. He moaned over and over but got startled when he felt something poking on his entrance. The man's same fingers are teasing him, wanting to ready him. It felt wonderful making his breath fasten.

After a moment, the man’s hard and pulsating shaft started to enter him, it felt uncomfortable. He steadied himself, closing his eyes to push back a lump from his throat because of the pain. He unintentionally dug his fingers on the man's shoulders to help ease the pain.

"Do you want me to stop?" He opened his eyes when he heard the man spoke. He was wiping his tears away.

"No. Please, continue." He pleaded and finally, the man completely thrust hard making his eyes bulge seeing red. 

His lips met the man's lips again as the other continued pulling in and out of him making him moan in the man’s mouth every thrust. Junhoe laced both of his feet on top of the other's back making him hit his sweet spot. Junhoe made his loudest pleasured sigh. The tensions in his insides build up once more and this time, Junhoe hugged the man as he felt himself getting near.

A few more thrust and alas, they both reached their peak. Junhoe felt something warm filled him while his loads shot in both of their abdomen. He heaved a couple of deep breaths from the intense yet perfect feeling. The man stayed inside him for a while before pulling out completely as he collapse on top of him.

He smiled from contentment. This felt precious. He had never felt this way. He dozed off with the feeling of being belonged.

He felt his throat dry as he stirred up from his sleep. He reached for his phone but he only felt something warm beside him; as warm as him, like a warmth of another person. He swung his eyes open upon the realization and saw a man's back in front of him. He closed his eyes to try to recount what happened last night and he almost cursed on top of his lungs when his memory gave it.

He slept with a stranger! 


	2. Blurry Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New day in a new position with a new colleague in a new team. But is it really a new one?

Junhoe heaved a disappointed sigh while picking up a coffee mug and put it in the portable dripped coffeemaker. He can't believe he actually did his joke to his friends. To experience one-night stand because he's allergic to relationships. HE shook his head vehemently to brush off the lingering feelings from last night.

  
"Hey, what happened last night? Why did you suddenly disappear?" Donghyuk asked eyes squinting at him as if he just broke their bro code.  
  
"Good morning to you too, jerk." He retorted while shooting dagger stares towards his friend. The same time he looked behind Donghyuk, his eyes caught someone’s back. A man just got on the elevator and Junhoe saw his side profile which looked kind of a bit familiar. Then last night’s happening’s poked his memory again making him wince. He shook his head wondering where he saw the man but he was interrupted by Donghyuk who is rambling incoherent things.   
  
"Is that how a friend acts? Leaving your friends drunk at the bar?" Donghyuk complained feigning his hurt for his friend.   
  
"Shut up! You, two, left me alone!" He answered, jaw clenching. Donghyuk confusedly reacted. "Weren't you with Jiwon on the counter?"   
  
"Who’s Jiwon?" He asked, he is also now confused too.   
  
"He is the man who was with Chanwoo when we arrived last night. Oh my god! Did you just ignore him?"   
  
"I don’t know. I didn't see him." Junhoe defended. The JA shook his head in complete disappointment. "How can you even get laid with that personality?"   
  
With that question Junhoe suddenly choked on his coffee splattering some on Donghyuk. He felt his face flushed as he avoids the man's scrutinizing gaze. Donghyuk examined him leaning closely before him to search for his eyes.  
  
"Or am I wrong? Did you get laid last night?!" Donghyuk raised his voice at the last sentence. He gestured a hush to warn his friend to keep his voice down.   
  
"Oh my god! This is a breaking news!" The other man exclaimed happily ready to throw an extravagant party for Junhoe. "Who was it?!" He curiously added pure anticipation sparked in his light brown irises.   
  
But Junhoe turned his back still embarrassed for admitting _it_ in the first place. God, how much did he drink that he acted out? His mind is having a battle if telling Donghyuk the whole thing will merit him good things or not. And before he can stop himself to answer the man's query, his phone buzzed. It was an incoming call from RL Kim, the firm's one of the two Representative Lawyer that they have. Saved by the bell!  
  
"Hey, I got to go." He bid goodbye while striding towards the lift without giving any look back at the other man.   
  
"You need to tell me what happened. In full and detailed story." He heard the man shouted emphasizing the last sentence.   
  
_ Jeez, this man is such a gossiper!  _ He breathed out before pushing the button for the top floor.  
  
  
Upon arriving at the RL’s office, Junhoe saw Lawyer Kim talking to someone, his back on him. He looked straight towards RL Kim who was sitting on his swivel chair and the former bowed to greet the postured and authoritative man. "You called for me, Sir?" He asked trailing the rest of his words.   
  
"Yes, Junhoe let me introduce you to someone. This is Kim Jiwon, my nephew. He will be the new EP, and you will be forming a team with him to deal with our VIP clients." The man said. He followed the aimed hand towards the other man in the room only to be completely horrified to see who it was. It was the man whom he slept with last night!   
  
He sweated in buckets almost immediately as he met the man's stare, smiling at him genuinely. He switched his gaze abruptly towards the eldest man in the room and answered, stuttering. "Ah yes, Sir. I understand. Thank you." He lowered his head to stare at his shoes. Why it has to be him? Junhoe is biting his lips to punish himself from the embarrassment. How can he bed the boss’ nephew?!  
  
"Good. I'll let you orient him since you're almost of the same age. Take him also to around the building."  
  
He mentally frowned at the “favour”.  _ Great! _ He'll be with the man whom he isn’t expecting to see anymore from now on!

  
"It’s nice to see you again, Junhoe." Jiwon said as he close the door. He shut his eyes tightly and breathed in deeply. Not wanting to have a physical contact, he pinched on the man’s sleeve and pulled him towards the fire exit.  
  
He turned around after he let go to face him. "Is it really you?" He asked eyes squinting, hands on his waist.   
  
"Is it really me what?" the other replied, confused which made him lose his calm demeanour.   
  
"Do I really have to tell every word to stop you from feigning your ignorance? Because I swear to God, I am not having this conversation with you in the first place if it’s not you!"  
  
Jiwon laughed at his remark. "Okay, fine. You said it yourself, it was really me. Happy?" The man had his arms in the air, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
He squinted his eyes, still unconvinced. The man sighed exasperatedly and unbuttoned his polo shirt. "Hey, hey what are you doing? Someone might see us!" Junhoe said through gritted teeth. But the man continued pulling his shirt open and turned his shoulders around to display the remnants of what happened last night on his back.   
  
Junhoe is completely astounded upon seeing the scratches from Jiwon’s back. The moment he scraped his fingers on Jiwon’s milky white skin flashed in his sight. It was really him! The brunette locks, the familiar build, and those eyes, damn! "I'm sorry." He said biting the inside of his cheek after recovering from the shock.   
  
The man smoothed his crumpled clothes and said, "Sorry for what?" frowning from Junhoe’s ambiguity.  
  
"For last night." He replied hanging every word for a moment at the same time biting his lips. He can't understand what he is feeling. If he will be honest to his self, he liked what happened last night, but now it got so awkward knowing he will be stuck with the newbie for God knows how long!   
  
"Are you regretting it?" Jiwon asked as they stopped at the cafeteria to pick up refreshments.   
  
"What do you want?" He asked for his drink instead to dodge the man's question.   
  
Jiwon grabbed his arm so they are face to face. The distance is so close, he can smell the familiar scent and it’s mesmerizing him again. “Do you regret what happened to us last night?" He repeated and Junhoe wriggled his arm on the man’s grip, Jiwon letting it go at the end.   
  
"I don't." He softly mumbled, almost inaudible, pausing for a long moment in between.   
  
"Then why are you so worked up?"   
  
He fell silent. The man was right. Why is he making a big deal out of it? He looked at the man who is now choosing his drink. It felt like Jiwon is cool with it, but why is he stressing on it? And he felt a stab on his chest, his heart clenching like it was inside a fist. He closed his eyes and breathed out. He needed to snap out of his foolish thoughts. He at least has to appear professional in front of everyone, especially to the man standing in front of him. If it’s not a big deal to Jiwon, he should also pretend to be unbothered by it.  
  
Finally, they are done with the orientation. He tiredly sat on his swivel chair and looked on his glassed window only to have his eyes wide when he saw Jiwon across his office. They can see each other whenever the blinds are up. He exasperatedly sighed. He can't really runaway from him. He mentally smacked his head from the thought. Why does he even want to run away from the man?  
  


  
The next morning, he was reading his first case inside his new office. It is a complaint against the Song Food Corporation (SFC) from their labourers as they were on a strike. Allegedly, the workers were not paid for a total of five months now and the Corporation doesn't want to own up to it because the CEO did sign the releasing papers for their payrolls, himself.   
  
Junhoe will be representing the corporation if ever it leads to the court. But he specializes in negotiotiations. Issues like this are so easy to deal with even if both ends don’t want to cooperate. He always spots that one particular point to make them settle. This is not for bragging but it is the very reason why he is the youngest ace of the law firm.   
  
He is about to flip the next page when he was interrupted by curt knocks on his office door. "Come in." He permitted without lifting his head to look at the visitor.   
  
"Are you reading SFC's case file, because I also got it." He heard Jiwon's rough voice. He mentally groaned. Right, the man is also a co-counsel for the case. “Yes.” He replied thriftily.  
  
"Great. I already invited the CEO for a meeting so he will be here any minute now." He said as he looks at his wristwatch. Junhoe shot his eyebrow up. Before he can ask what he should do on that information Jiwon added, "I also need you in the room. I heard you’re very good in persuading tough clients?"  
  
That remark made his ego swell. He cleared his throat to show off. "Of course, I do. I have never set foot back here without closing a deal. Okay, see you then." He said dismissing the other man for further conversation. As much as possible, he needs to stop giving the man a chance to ask for something, for anything.  
  
Ten minutes later, he went inside the conference room with a man who looks as young as Jiwon and is flashing him a bright smile which he gladly reciprocated. The man has a dark hair, parted halfway in a comma style, looking dandy with his powder blue polo tucked under a cream colored suit pants.  
  
"Good morning, I am Koo Junhoe, a partner in Kim & Jung." He introduced as he aimed his hand for a shake.   
  
"I am Song Yunhyeong, CEO of SFC, please do me a favour and help me settle this dispute with our workers." Junhoe was surprised at how soft spoken the CEO is. The man is actually a nice catch but not good enough for him. He snapped out of his thoughts when Jiwon suddenly cleared his throat to interrupt them walking between them to snatch his hand away. And instead, shook the man's hand as he said his pleasantries.   
  
During the meeting, Junhoe can't even butt in to share some of his ideas for the negotiating contract because of Jiwon. This isn't even a competition. Why did he even call him here if he will be just a mere audience for their dialogue?   
  
"Your ideas are promising. I am expecting that you, both, will do a great job in handling the complaint." Yunhyeong complimented when they have finished going over the contract. "And Koo Junhoe-ssi," he faltered.   
  
"Yes? What can I do for you, Sir?" He asked expectantly hoping for something that will make his stay here worthwhile.   
  
The young CEO slid a business card in front of him. "Just call me Yunhyeong. According to Jiwon, you will be in charge of dealing with our workers? Can I expect the success of your negotiation with them? And please, do swing by my office if you come, I'll personally assist you." He said beaming at him.   
  
Junhoe smirked at the man’s words. "Sure. Thank you so much." He picked up the card and put it inside his pocket before standing to shake his hand with the CEO.   
  
  
After Yunhyeong left, Jiwon stopped him from leaving. "What was that?" he asked his grip from him tightened. He grimaced from the sting of Jiwon’s hold.  
  
"What?" Junhoe asked in confusion.   
  
"Are you flirting with CEO Song?"   
  
Junhoe scoffed. "Excuse me? What the hell are you saying?” His face crumpled in anger. How dare he ask such question! He felt frustrated that he sped off without turning his head back to the man who was calling him.  
  
Even if they had slept together, Jiwon can’t pry on his personal business like this! It was just a one-time thing. Why was he so interested if ever someone is pining for him? He is seething in anger when he went back to his office, shutting his door harshly startling Donghyuk who was cosily seating on his couch.   
  
"So who made my favourite Attorney this disconcerted?" 

  
"Don't ask. And please, get the fuck out and work on your cases! How can you have the luxury to sit idly here on office hours?" He uttered pouring all his unreleased agitation to the poor Junior Associate.   
  
"Hey, Koo Junhoe. I wasn't even doing anything here why are you directing your anger to me?" Donghyuk said but his eyebrows are wiggling.   
  
He shut his eyes tightly and puffed a deep breath to calm his nerves. "Are one night stand really this difficult?" He loudly wondered earning a shock reaction from Donghyuk.   
  
"What did you just say?" The man asked which made him flushed. Heat crept up in his face. His brain-to-mouth filter went out of order!  
  
"Nevermind." He tried to dismiss it. But he knows that Donghyuk is the biggest curious worm out there he’ll bother him until he squeezed him enough for an answer.   
  
"Koo Junhoe, who was it? Is it Attorney Kim?" His reaction sold him from Donghyuk and he hated it!   
  
"Oh my god! This is a huge reveal!” He hysterically stood up and put his hands on his head, totally bewildered by Junhoe’s revelation.   
  
"Hey keep your voice down! He’s just next door." He moved his head sideways to point the man from the other office with his eyes on the case file he is reading.   
  
"So what happened? Why are you so angry right now?" He questioned.   
  
He heaved an exasperated breath upon remembering his bad blood with the man next door. "Oh, nothing remarkable. He just confronted me if I was flirting with CEO Song. Can you believe it?!" He ranted. Donghyuk fell back on the couch laughing while wiping his tears.   
  
"Is that really funny to you?" Junhoe asked full of sarcasm, eyes squinting towards his best friend.   
  
"Man, he's jealous. Can't you see?"   
  
With wide eyes, he glared at the man with his gibberish. “What are you talking about?” Ha! Jiwon is jealous? How on earth?!


	3. Detached Consciousness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiwon makes him feel things like contradicting his self and doing things he doesn’t usually do. With Jiwon, he always have detached consciousness.

_Can I love you tonight?_

Junhoe woke up panting heavily. The kiss they have shared that night is still haunting him. He sat up on top of his bed and organized his thoughts. _It was just a one-time thing_ , he tried to convince himself. But why does he long for Jiwon's touches? Why is he thinking of him every night? 

He went to his kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. He needed to sort this out before it can affect his professional life. No matter how hard he tries to put up a front, it always crumbles whenever he glances at the man from the slits of his venetian blinds. 

When he went out with RL Kim and the man the other night for an acknowledgement dinner, he can't stop staring at Jiwon like he was under some kind of a spell. The latter looks so delectable, he wanted to pounce on him right there and then. At that, he was always caught staring but luckily, Jiwon didn't make a big deal out of it. 

He had been in a relationship. But that was a long time ago. He already had forgotten the feeling of touching someone, being with someone. But that night, Junhoe felt belonged once again. He remembered how he felt contented that time. And this fact bothers him the most because he can't find the answer to his **whys**.

Junhoe was drafting his report for the successful negotiation with the SFC workers when Jiwon entered his office like he was always welcome there. 

"So, fifty thousand dollars for every employee?" Jiwon asked, impressed, while busying himself from flipping through the pages of a file he picked up from Junhoe’s table.

While investigating on the complaint, Junhoe found out that the payroll officer took the money that was for the salary of the workers for five months and no one knew about it. Upon talking to the employees, he arrived at the conclusion that they just wanted to get the exact amount they have earned for the applicable period of time. Because that’s what they do, working to earn. 

He talked his way to Yunhyeong for the compensation that will be given to their one hundred employees and raised some suggestions on how SFC can claim the tripled returns of investment in just a few months. That sealed the deal. Doing this kind of matter for years, Junhoe easily found the ultimate trend to settle this kind of dispute. _Money_

While studying for the Bar exam, he was also taking up business units to help him perform his duties once he gets his license. And all of it came handy when he started interning at Kim & Jung. That's why he got to where he is right now in just a span of a few years. 

"I am asking you if you have an appointment for lunch." His bubble of thoughts popped when Jiwon waved his hand in front of his face. 

He leaned back on his chair and cleared his throat to regain his composure. "I don't have." He replied shortly. 

"Well then, let's go!" the other muttered as he stood up not waiting for Junhoe's answer.

Junhoe bore dagger stares on the man's back. Is he really attracted to this kind of man who feels he can boss around everyone? He shook his head to deny the truth that is already in front of him even plated and garnished.

"So why did you bring me here?" Junhoe asked after he fed his self with a cut of medium rare steak. He watched the man as he swallow the food in his mouth waiting for his response. 

"To talk about us?" Jiwon replied in an uncertain manner which made him scoff. 

He wiped his lips with the table napkin as he is about to stand up from his chair to leave. Jiwon will never make sense to him. But the man grabbed his arm and looked at him desperately. "Please stay." He begged. For a minute, Junhoe saw hurt from the man's crystal glass eyes. Seeing those emotions made him confused, bothered and his emotions whirled. And he hated it. He loathed that he is affected.

After a moment, a pretty man approached them. He looked like someone who just came out from a magazine, elegant, styled up and confident. Junhoe saw how his eyes landed on Jiwon and he felt a punch in his gut. 

"Jiwon" He heard the man called, a hint of surprise in his sultry hoarse voice. Following that he saw Jiwon's change of aura. It felt cold and he shivered from it. 

Jiwon looked upon hearing his name and flashed his brightest smile to the other man. Junhoe saw it quickly but he is sure the smile just now is faked. 

"Jinhwan" He heard Jiwon replied. But nothing followed. 

He felt Jinhwan's eyes on him and he courtly smiled. "I'm Jinhwan. How about you?" The man introduced as he gave out his open palm for a shake. 

"Junhoe" he responded accepting the hand and shook it gently. 

"He's Junhoe, a fellow partner in the firm. And my boyfriend." Jiwon added which made him look at him completely baffled. He looked for the other man's eyes and he saw a pleading look telling him to go with the act. He nodded once and he got a thankful smile from him. 

"Oh!" That was all Jinhwan could say while shooting an eyebrow up. It was Junhoe's cue to do his part. He reached for Jiwon's closed fist on top of the table and intertwined his fingers on the man’s.

"Oh yes! Ji have mentioned about you. Why don’t you join us for lunch?" He gleamed but deep inside he is mentally knocking his head for going over the top. _Ji_? Really? And the hand, he can win a Best Actor award in this rate!

"Oh no, no. I can't interrupt your lunch date together. Maybe some other time?" The man responded but his eyes bore on Jiwon the whole time. "I'll go ahead then. Jiwon, I'll just call you." He bid goodbye. 

The man was already long gone but Jiwon's grasp from his hand is still tight. "Are you okay?" He asked. 

This is the first time he saw Jiwon being completely stiffen, caught off guard, anything that is the opposite of composed and calm. For the past months, he's seen him being always laid back, smily and just Jiwon, the opposite of the man who is in front of him right now. 

Jiwon heaved a deep breath as he let go of his hand. Junhoe felt empty after the warmth of the man’s hand vanished. "Are you done eating? Let's go?" The man asked completely evading his question. 

Their trip way back to the firm is so quiet that Junhoe felt stuffy and uncomfortable. "I'm sorry for the impromptu act a while ago." He heard Jiwon apologized. 

He looked at him searching for his eyes. But the man remained looking forward. "It's fine." He replied shortly. He isn't the type to be so overly curious about a thing, especially on someone but Junhoe spent the remaining of the day thinking about Jiwon's pained face. 

Before he turn the lights off, he once again peeked at the man on the office next door. Jiwon is concentrating on reading a file. He looked haggard and restless, he also heave sighs after sighs. And Junhoe wanted to comfort him, to tell him everything is alright and that he will be beside him. And he mentally knocked his head once he realized the absurdity of his thoughts.

 _Junhoe, stay away like you always do._ He reminded himself.

But who is he mocking? Because he just found himself knocking on the other man's door. Jiwon looked up when he stick his head at his door frame. "Are you up for a drink?" He asked which Jiwon reciprocated with a grateful grin.

"Cheers" both of them chorused as their shot glasses clinked. Junhoe opened a bottle of aged whiskey he is tucking neatly in his office table. He never thought he’ll open it just to comfort a stranger- okay, a colleague.

Junhoe gulped his whiskey in one shot and heaved a deep breath savouring the sting of the alcohol in his throat. He poured another glass full and straight up drank it. For the third time, he is pouring liqour on his glass again when Jiwon stopped him. "Are you planning to get drunk again tonight?" He asked smirk is forming lopsidedly on his lips.

Junhoe has been alcohol deprived for two months now. After their shared night, he didn't come close to any alcoholic beverage that existed. He’s just reminded of that particular night even if he is sober, what more if he’s drunk? He sneered at the man's remarks but he didn't drink the third glass. "How about you, aren't you going to get wasted?

Jiwon swirled the liquor inside his glassware before he drank all of it. "I don't want to trouble you." He said as he set the cup on the coffee table top. Junhoe watched his every move. He really looked bothered and Junhoe wanted Jiwon to share those burdens with him.

"Can I help you with anything?" He failed to stop himself from asking. He is met by the other man’s gaze and it made him feel warm. Jiwon's dark brown eyes are his weakness.

"Well, do you want to hear a story?

"Fire away!" He answered as he leaned closer to hear the man’s story.

"The man we met a while ago was my best friend. We seriously dated for a few years before he called it quits to marry someone else." He stopped to take another sip of the bitter and stinging alcohol.

"I didn't receive any apology nor explanation for his sudden decision. Yet he contacted me last week, after four years of no communication to represent him in court. He allegedly embezzled money from his father-in-law's company but no one wants to take his case. No one wants to go against the Director Kim of Steels Motor Corporation.

"Steels Motor Corporation?” He repeated. It’s one of the firm’s valuable accounts.

"Now he's on the run. So he asked me to meet him secretly at the restaurant a while ago. But I tagged you along just because.

Junhoe squinted at the man to examine him. Just because? He scoffed. Jiwon isn't telling something. It's very obvious from the hunch of his back, low of his shoulders and frown of his face.

"You can always treat me as your friend, Jiwon." He said in full sincerity that made the other man turn his gaze to him. Their eyes met and that moment, it felt like time has warped out. It stretched into a million galaxies that Junhoe is seeing in the man's deep-seated eyes. He was drawn into it, entranced.

Jiwon grinned and Junhoe felt his nerves tingled. He is so handsome that Junhoe wants him squeezed in his arms, cheek to cheek, chest to chest.

"Can I kiss you?" Jiwon suddenly asked without any preamble.

He is not sure if he’s going crazy or it’s just the effect of the whiskey. But under the lime light of Jiwon's office, Junhoe doesn't need to think of things to reason out and instead, just nodded. 


	4. Busted Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe's confusion continues having overlapping issues since the man came. But he always finds himself going along with the waves named Jiwon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for not updating yesterday. I was busy waiting for iKON on Tiktok Stage, that's why. 
> 
> This chapter is for @junbob_error for anticipating the next happenings from where we left the story off 😂

The thing about impulsiveness is it makes you have two scenarios in the end. It's either it's worth it or you'll regret it. But for Junhoe, he is stuck in the middle. He can’t make up his mind if he really is still doing right. His brain-to-mouth filter is faltering over the course of two months. And he really needs to get it done to prevent further damage. 

He is again reminded of what happened two days ago. Those luscious lips kissing him, wet and breathy, damn, it's still lingering on him. He felt like he is still being kissed by Jiwon. And he can't understand why it affected him so much. 

He almost jumped out of his swivel chair when his Legal Assistant knocked on his door and stuck her head on the door frame. 

"Excuse me, Attorney Koo, Mr. Kim is asking you to his office."

"Ah, yes. Thank you, Lena-ssi." He replied as he is rising up from his seat still dazed from his thoughts. 

Ever since that night, all he has been thinking are the man's touches. Like Jiwon is a drug that Junhoe can't take out of his system anymore. And it kind of makes him feel like a big horny man. Although he admits that he’s enjoying celibacy, he isn’t missing getting laid. He is too preoccupied with his work and another stress from a relationship is the least that he wanted right now. He heaved a deep sigh before knocking on RL Kim’s office door. 

“Come in.” He waited for the muffled response of the older man inside before opening the door. 

“Good morning, Sir. You asked for me?” He asked trailing rest of his words from his mouth. 

The other man shut the ledger he is reading and looked up to him smiling. “Yes, Attorney Koo, please have a seat.” The older man said and encouraged him to take a spot on the couch which he gladly obliged. 

“How was my nephew, as a Lawyer? Is he giving you some issues?” Mr. Kim queried and Junhoe is sure that this isn’t the reason why he was asked up suddenly. But he still has to answer the man’s beating around the bush.

“He’s a good one, Sir. He has been so cooperative and I have no problems with him.” Lie. He has been having (personal) issues with Jiwon since day one. Maybe he is really a lawyer because the other man seemed convinced with his false statement. 

RL Kim nodded in approval but cleared his throat after. “This morning Jiwon told me that he’ll represent a certain Kim Jinhwan to the court against the Steels Motor Corporation.” Junhoe is taken aback by the man’s words at the same time confused. He had heard about Jinhwan’s problem two days ago and he saw how the man was so bothered by it. And now, the man will really do it. He isn’t expecting that Jiwon is still head over heels with his ex. He smiled bitterly.

“What can I do with it, Sir?”

“I want you to keep an eye on my nephew. I admit he still lacks the experience of being a lawyer as he was a former diplomatic consular officer but I am afraid he is doing something wrong right now. As you know, SMC is one of our VIP clients and they are highly vital for us. You see, I just want to protect the firm. So Junhoe, can I highly expect from you on this matter?”

He frowned upon hearing the man’s remarks. He is a lawyer, for God’s sake! Not a babysitter! 

“I’ll see what I can do, Sir. I’ll take my leave now.” He said as he dashed off without looking back. He scoffed once he’s out. He can’t believe it! He paused for a moment to calm his nerves. If this is his tasks and responsibilities being an EP, he’ll just prefer to get demoted back as a JA. 

Seething in anger, he crossed the distance of the hallway to his office with heavy steps making his LA startled by the loud shut of his door. He harshly took a seat on his chair and turned towards the window where the sun is brightly illuminated on the dark blue blinds. He reached for the remote of his digital gramophone and within seconds the melody of Beethoven’s _Für Elise_ filled the office on a maximum volume. He leaned back on his chair and closed his eyes, his hands massaging his temples. Yet he can’t calm down. He exhaled a deep breath and rose to his seat. He needed a break! 

  
“You’re only smoking if you’re overly stressed that nothing can ease it. What’s happened?” Donghyuk asked leaning on the railing of the rooftop. He bumped into the man on his way to the elevator. 

Junhoe is staring at the void while he deeply inhaled the lit cigar in his hand. He rarely smokes, only if he cannot handle the stress anymore. The most confusing thing is, he doesn’t know the exact reason what he is stressing over. Is it the command of the RL or is it the fact that Jiwon is willing to help his ex who left him? He shook his head and threw a punch on the railing. “It’s about Jiwon.” He replied after a long silence.

“What about Attorney Kim again?” Donghyuk sighed like he’s done being his friend and he can understand him. His problems are always about Jiwon, always because of the man. And he also hated it.

He exhaled deeply, “I don’t know. RL Kim asked me to keep an eye on him because he’s going to represent his ex against SMC.”

“That’s it? You’re like this because of that reason? Junhoe, Jiwon is a lawyer. Let him do his sworn duty. Why are you stressing over it?” 

“I hated that it’s his ex! His pained face when he saw Jinhwan that day, Donghyuk, I swear to God, I wanted go blind at that moment. Why would Jinhwan seek help to him when he didn’t even contact him for four years? Why now? Why it has to be Jiwon?” He frantically said while pacing back and forth in front of Donghyuk who was mortified with his words.

“Wait a minute; are you in love with Jiwon?”

“What?”

He was caught off guard. Dead on his tracks. Rooted to his feet. In love? With Jiwon? “Hell, no!” Was the only words he could muster but his heart is thumping like crazy. No he is not. He swears to every divine being that is listening right now that he is not in love with that man. He will never be!

“Then why are you being like this?” Donghyuk shot the question with voice a slight raise, hands in the air, gesturing _why_ to him. 

He faced the older man and opened his lips to speak but he has nothing in mind. The real first time he went speechless, tongue-tied even. He fell silent to come up with at least one, no matter how petty it is as long as he can tell him an answer but he gave up and closed his lips tightly. “I don’t know.” He responded after a full minute of deafening silence. He just heard Donghyuk heaving a sigh. 

“Good luck in finding that out. For now, let’s head back. We still have a few hours left before we clock out.” He was guided by the man, his arm around his slouched shoulders, feeling defeated. 

  
When the doors of the lift opened, Junhoe came eye to eye with Jiwon who is with Jinhwan. He switched his gazes to the both, before settling a questioning look on Jiwon. But the man didn’t utter a single word. 

“Junhoe!” The smaller man exclaimed and he automatically plastered a fake smile on his lips. 

“Jinhwan” 

“I was just asking Jiwon about you, I want to treat the both of you for a dinner.” 

Oh! His eyebrow etched higher. “I’m afraid; I have to take a rain check. I have an urgent case to settle and I can’t afford it to delay.” 

“No, Junhoe will come with us, right Babe?” Jiwon interjected and Junhoe heard Donghyuk’s loud gasp beside him. _Fuck this!_

“Okay.” He has forgotten about their little act in front of Jinhwan. And now, Donghyuk have learned about it too. _Great!_

“Great! So I’ll see you, both, later?” _No, say no when you still can!_ Junhoe’s subconscious is shouting but he only nodded, in contrary. 

  
“So what was that? Care to explain?” Donghyuk sneered like a mother who caught her child stealing coins on her purse. But Junhoe ignored him.

“Koo Junhoe, I didn’t become your best friend since Pre-Law for this!” The man is now standing in front of him, hands on his waist.

He clicked his tongue and shot him a sullen glance. Truth be told, Donghyuk has been his twin, his other pair. If he is Banana A, Donghyuk is Banana B. But, Junhoe is pre-occupied to tell him everything to his best friend. “Can I tell you some other time?” He asked while pressing on his temples. He thinks his migraine is kicking in. And luckily, the man went out after studying him for a few moments and shook his head, very disappointed at him. 

He suddenly felt guilty but he needs more time to sort out his feelings. He needs to find his answer to his why first. 


	5. Permanent Impulsiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe has a disease and it’s incurable. It will forever make his life unbearable. But Jiwon is the negation of impulsiveness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gladly dedicating this chapter to my very first reader every update, Ricepeach-nim! Thank you for always giving me meaningful insights, it makes my spirits lift up! 
> 
> Let us all watch our favorite boy, Kim Bobby, on HipHopplaya tonight!

Junhoe has won so many trials after another and he felt proud of it. He loved that sense of victory whenever the Judge pounds his gavel thrice indicating that the verdict is already final and irrefutable. But not today, everything is the opposite. He is leaning on Jiwon’s car window on their way to the restaurant where Jinhwan had placed a reservation. 

“Are you, okay?” Jiwon who is behind the steering wheel asked.

 _I am not so stop asking._ Is what his head wanted to say but he just settled for a hum. His migraine hasn’t subsided after taking another Advil before he left the office and it’s killing him. He closed his eyes to erase the typhoon of thoughts inside his unstable mind. And eventually, he had dozed off.

“Hey, wake up.” He heard Jiwon’s soft voice at the same time; he felt his gentle tap on his shoulder. He stirred up and grunted before opening his eyes.

The inside of the car is dark so Junhoe is fine with it but not when they entered the bright room of the restaurant. Like a punch in the gut, Junhoe’s headache came rushing in. He put his hand on his forehead to try to control his mind. _The pain is just all in the head_. He tried to psych himself. 

He straightened his back when Jiwon’s hand found his hand and laced their fingers together. He caught Jinhwan waving at them subtly. _Oh right_. He forgot that they needed to act in front of the other man. It is one of the million reasons to whack his already hurting head. 

“So, how long have you been dating?” Jinhwan asked in the middle of their meal. Junhoe stiffened and he felt cold. They have never talked about it. He immediately sweated in buckets while feeling nervous. What if they mess up their little act?

“A little over a month ago. You could say its love at first sight.” Jiwon responded before he can even say something, winking at him and chuckling slightly. He grimaced. _Love at first sight, s_ _o lame_. He beamed brightly at them, giving Jiwon a menacing look. Might as well exaggerate the man’s thread of lies. 

“Yeah, Ji didn’t leave my side that night at the bar and took dibs on me immediately.” He returned the man’s wink, but his action was to annoy the man. Jiwon frowned making him succeed in his agenda. 

Jinhwan laughed, a genuine one, while wiping his lips with the table napkin. “That’s interesting. Jiwon tends to chicken out when he likes someone. But I see he has improved.” He muttered while nodding. Junhoe can’t fathom Jiwon’s expression, his face is blank. 

“I heard you, two, had a thing before?” Junhoe asked to know more about them, not intending to hurt someone, if someone will ever get hurt. 

“Yeah”

“Junhoe”

Both men answered at the same time. Jiwon suddenly looked grim, his stares became sharper and his face hardened. But Junhoe deadpanned. The man brought him in this mess without knowing anything. How can he act properly if he doesn’t know their history, just a mere sentence of ‘we dated and he left me’? 

“So Jinhwan, why did you leave Ji then? I’m sorry to say this but you have been the best of friends and eventually turned lovers but why did you marry someone else?” He asked pushing his luck, oblivious of the tension.

Jiwon harshly stood up causing his chair to stumble. “I’m sorry Jinhwan-hyung, but we’re going now. Thank you for the dinner.” He coldly said before tugging Junhoe’s wrist and dragged him outside the restaurant.

“That hurts!” Junhoe snarled making Jiwon let go of his hand. He hissed while soothing those red marks on his wrist. 

“Do you have to say that out loud?” Jiwon shouted earning them a look from all the passers-by. 

He smiled bitterly. “Yes. What’s wrong about it? Why, don’t I have the right to know about it? Jiwon, you drag me in this situation without knowing anything. You are keeping me in the dark and you’re using me right under my nose! I can’t allow that just because of what we had and what we are doing. So tell me, why did you drag me out of here? Are you still not over him? Tell me! Because I swear to God, let’s end this bullshit pretend relationship. I am feeling sick and loser about it!” 

“Junhoe-“ Jiwon said but stopping whatever is coming in his mouth and heaved a sigh. “Let’s just go, I’m driving you home.” He uttered instead.

“No, I’ll go home alone.” Junhoe said suddenly feeling embarrassed. He is not his own self. Maybe it was the effect of the Ibuprofen he took that caused him to babble on unnecessary things and he felt so ashamed for Jiwon and for his self.

God, he was so inappropriate and embarrassing and crazy! 

He turned his heels to walk home but he suddenly halted, ears ringing and his ground spinning. His migraine is still kicking in. This time, it has worsened. Coming here is definitely the worst idea. He cursed his own self. 

“Junhoe” Jiwon called his hands on his arms. “Are you okay?” 

But he writhed himself out of the man’s touch. “I am. Go away.” He snapped but his eyes is blurring from the tears. He gripped his hair tightly and elicited a muffled sob. His head is really throbbing in pain. And he can’t bear it well. 

He acquired his migraine when he was in college from having so many readings and case files to read. He had carried it until now, the funny thing is, the last time he had an attack was on his first time representing a client in the court. He managed to prevent it from then on but clearly, it reoccurred today. 

“Junhoe” Jiwon called again, this time pulling him in for an embrace and guided him towards the car.

“You haven’t told me, you’re having a migraine. We should have taken a rain check on Jinhwan's invitation.” Jiwon said while driving. But he didn’t answer instead; he closed his eyes and tried to sleep the pain away. 

He scoffed. He’s planning on not going but he left him with no choice, even cornering him in front of his ex! The car is enveloped in a grim ambiance and somehow, Junhoe liked it. Maybe it’s better that way. 

Jiwon had helped him settle on his bed even going as far as removing his shoes on his feet and tucking him in his blanket. He then caressed the latter’s shiny black locks before muttering an “I’m sorry” but Junhoe continued faking his sleep. Having an awkward conversation with him in this state is not a very good idea right now. 

The last thing he remembers was Jiwon switching the lights off and bidding him a soft _good night_ following the click on his bedroom door. 

Junhoe is fumbling through his keys while descending to the stairs of his flat when he saw Jiwon leaning on his jet black Bentley G10. Junhoe stopped on his tracks to appreciate the man in his casual oversized purple shirt and baggy pants. He doesn’t look like a respectable lawyer right now and Junhoe likes it. He looked really laid back, younger and brighter.

“Hi” the man greeted once he arrived in front of Jiwon. Confused is evident in his tone, chiselled face. "What are you doing here?

Jiwon bit his lips and shifted on his feet. "I came here to apologize for my misbehaviour." Junhoe is dumbfounded. In the first place, Jiwon isn't the one who needs to apologize. It was him but his pride won't let him bow down first.

He bit the inside of his cheeks to come up with something to say. But his mind only thought of one thing. "I'm sorry too, for being a jerk." Jiwon beamed at his words.

"Are we okay now?"

“Yep." _If you say so._

An awkward blanket fell over them and they stayed there at the empty parking space with just the both of them standing, face to face, smiling at each other.

"Are you heading somewhere?” Jiwon asked when he saw a small duffel bag dangling on his hand. Junhoe bit his lips and put his free hand on his nape. “Yep. I’m off to my parents in Jinhae for the weekend.”

“Oh, aren't you going to drive your car?”

“Ah, yes. I always prefer to ride on trains on long trips. You know, it’s sleepy to drive alone on long hours.” He replied not meeting the man’s gaze. What is he even still doing here?

“Won’t you mind tagging me along on that long trip? I love long drives. I mean, if that’s okay with you?” The man offered with a sheepish grin on his lips that left Junhoe startled. 

He scoffed and exhaled loudly. “It’s a two days-one night trip, though?”

“Count me in.” Jiwon replied nodding while smiling widely. And they headed for that long drive to Jinhae. 

One might think he had gone crazy. But what can he do? Maybe a long drive won’t hurt? _Indulgence isn’t a sin after all_. 


	6. Discovering Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was at that time when Junhoe was swept by the waves of truth that he has no choice but to admit his true feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mapi-nim! Thank you for the mindblown comment yesterday. It still left me thinking up to now.

It’s not a bad idea. _Really_. That’s what Junhoe thought. Because right now, nothing is wrong except for the deafening silence inside Jiwon’s G10. They have been on the road for an hour now but they were just sitting there, Junhoe counting the street lights they are passing by and the man on the steering wheel is totally concentrated on driving.

“Do you want to listen to some songs?” Jiwon asked, maybe noticing the unpleasant atmosphere, at the same time, pressing the I button of his stereo. John Mayer’s cold voice filled the awkward air. 

_Your body is wonderland (I’ll use my hands)…_

Junhoe stiffened at the sound of that particular lyrics and he felt uneasy. Of all the songs, why would it be that one? He rudely pressed the _off_ button and leaned towards his seat and closed his eyes. 

Pretending to sleep is better than hearing those kinds of songs inside a cramped, closed space with Jiwon. And yes, he hated to admit it but he is still haunted by those memories almost three months ago.

Another excruciatingly two hours long of drive more and finally, they have arrived at the Koo’s doorsteps. Junhoe crawled out of the car and waited for Jiwon to do the same.

“So this is me.” He remarked while his arms are in the air gesturing the humble abode behind him. It was a nice two-storey house on a hill, overlooking a portion of Jinhae and the stream at the west part of the city. 

Jiwon looked at the whole place with nothing but awe in his face. “Wow! This place is so great!” He exclaimed. Junhoe only chuckled and gestured him to ascend to a few steps of stair to reach the main door of the house.

“Mom, I’m home!” Junhoe called and his deep husky voice reverberated across the whole room. The Koo’s house has an enough space at the centre where the kitchen and the dining room are situated at the right side and the living room across it. At the end, is an aisle to that connects to the master’s bedroom and a staircase for the second floor.

“Junhoe” a woman in her mid-fifties exclaimed from the kitchen and Junhoe headed to her to kiss her cheeks. The woman is wearing a floral long-sleeved dress that went until her ankles and on top of it is a rose gold patterned apron.

“How are you, Mom?” Junhoe asked and put his arm on his mother’s shoulders. Jiwon just stood at the side, grinning awkwardly when he was spotted by the elegant woman.

“Oh hi, young man. Who are you?” The woman trailed her question with her gaze switching back and forth to the two young men in the room.

“Oh, Mom, he is Jiwon, he’s a fellow EP at the firm.” Junhoe said grimacing because his mom had a knowing look and beaming smile on her lips.

“Hi Maám, good afternoon. I’m sorry for just barging here unannounced.” Jiwon apologized while doing repetitive bows which made the woman escape a fond chuckle on her lips before approaching the young man for a hug.

“You are very much welcome here, Dear. Today is Junhoe’s birthday; I am glad that he brought someone home. He has never done this.” Mrs. Koo said making Jiwon gasp from shock. He switched his gaze on Junhoe who was only on his tight lipped smile while one hand is scratching his hair.

“Oh, is that so? I guess, Happy Birthday, Junhoe. I’m sorry I didn’t know about it, I could have gotten you something as a present.” Jiwon said shyly.

“Don’t worry about it.” Junhoe waved his hand. “Mom, is the guest room prepared? We’ll be staying for the night.” He faced his mother and picked up his duffel bag from the floor.

“Yes, I will just change the beddings for Jiwon later. Come, I am about to finish my cooking.” The elegant woman gestured towards the kitchen and the two followed suit.

“No worries. We’ll just do it later, Mom. For now, what’s for lunch?” He asked while putting an arm around his mom. He has been close to his mom ever since. Even though she is working as a corporate accountant, she always allots time for them to bond. Shopping, reading books in a cafe, even playing in the arcade, they have done it all. And he is so thankful to his mom for it. 

While they are setting the table, his father came home from the city government office. Mr. Koo is the City Mayor of Jinhae; so even if it’s a weekend, he still renders services for half day. “Who owns the car parked outside our house?” He asked before he can see them in the dining.

“Junhoe” he greeted aiming his arms for a hug. Being an only child, he is sure given enough parental love and care.

“Dad” Junhoe greeted before turning behind to look at Jiwon who has a small smile in his face. “This is Jiwon, a colleague. He owns the black car outside.” Junhoe snickered to his dad to answer his question a while ago. 

“Hi Sir. I’m sorry for showing up suddenly here.” Jiwon shyly said but his father only hugged him tight. “It's a good thing to see you here, Son. This is the first time Junhoe brought someone, you must be special.” The older man commented.

“Dad!” Junhoe exclaimed. 

"Come on gentlemen, the food is ready.” The woman of the house called and they all headed to have a delicious homemade lunch. 

After a little celebration for his birthday, Junhoe invited the man upstairs to tour him around the house. On their way up, Jiwon chuckled softly and Junhoe stopped to face him and gave him a questioning look.

“You have a beautiful and warm family, that’s why.” Jiwon smiled. “I kind of envied you a bit there.” He added.

Junhoe scoffed and told him “What? Kim Jiwon, you have a nice and kind uncle, what do you mean?”

“Yeah, I have him.” He replied and once again they are visited by an awkward silence. Junhoe noticed how Jiwon’s expression suddenly turned grey like he wanted to escape that conversation. He momentarily wondered if he had mentioned anything offensive but he can’t remember anything. Maybe the man is just worrying over something and he is holding himself back not to pry on it. Jiwon deserved a personal space, and he would gladly give him it.

But that doesn’t mean he’ll let the man waste his time here for nothing. "Come on, let’s go out! I’ll tour you around the City!” Junhoe exclaimed to cheer Jiwon a bit.

The last week of March to first week April is the peak season of Cherry Blossoms in Jinhae. And Junhoe wanted Jiwon to see the picturesque view of the trees along the streets. The cool wind of spring is fanning the two men’s face from the rolled down windows of the car. Junhoe took charge of the steering wheel so Jiwon can admire the beauty of Jinhae.

When they pass by the park where a number of Cherry trees are erected, Junhoe gradually stepped on the brake to slow their pacing and with that, the effect of the falling flowers became more dramatic like they are medium-sized snowflakes falling from the grey skies slowly. It’s mesmerizing to see like time had stretched out so you can see the falling flowers one by one, or that Junhoe can see the spark from the warm brown orbs of the man across him. He forgot to breathe for a while. Right now was picture-perfect. Jiwon is so beautiful like this, the distance, the exact space and time; Junhoe can’t help but stretch his lips into a wide smile.

“Wow, this place is so nice. I never thought falling flowers are pretty like this.” Jiwon retorted, eyes still focused on the falling blossoms. “I’m glad I went here with you, Junhoe.” He added but this time, his eyes bore on Junhoe’s pitch black ones. That’s were Junhoe lost it.

Right there and then, Junhoe had realized something that he never thought he will admit. The erratic beats of his heart from the sparkle of the man's eyes. The tingle on his spine from the gleam of his lips. The sweat on his palms from realizing how they are sitting close to each other at the small confinement of the car. 

Realizing it made his insides felt warm. He has now an answer to his unfathomable question. The reason why is he that affected the last few months. The key as to why he is stressing over anything that involves Jiwon. 

_Because he is in love with him._


	7. Tying Loose Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon realizing his feelings for Jiwon, Junhoe now feel at ease. He just needed to make up with Donghyuk and do what is asked, to keep an eye on Jiwon.

_Hold the fuck up!_

Junhoe can't believe his momentary realization about his feelings for Jiwon. Is it really final and irrevocable? He searches and feels for his heartbeat and thought of the man right in the passenger seat. It made his heart beat like crazy! 

"Junhoe, Junhoe, Junhoe!" He felt soft, velvety hands on top of his own on the steering wheel and Junhoe came back from his day dreaming. Jiwon maneuvered the wheel to the left before he pulled the hand brakes.

They almost collided to an SUV because he is already on the other lane, counter flowing. He is so fixated with his thoughts that he forgot he is driving. "I'm sorry" he murmured. Jiwon's hands went to his side and turned him sideways to look him in the eyes.

"Are you okay? What were you thinking? Is there any problem?" Jiwon asked frantically. 

He shook his head to clear his clouded thoughts. "I" he licked his lips as he felt his throat dried but he can't find the right words to say. A back to back shock whirled his emotions and he is unstable right now. "Can we switch place?" He said instead and Jiwon immediately went out to go to his side and he just moved to the passenger seat from the inside. He stayed entranced for the rest of their stay in Jinhae even on their way home. 

He has been low key distancing his self from Jiwon ever since they came home from Jinhae. That day, he did his best to keep his emotions intact to stop Jiwon from noticing it. And until now, it hasn't sunk in yet. That he is feeling it towards the man. What he is avoiding is happening right now. His greatest horror is happening in front of his very eyes! 

And the worse thing is he is pining for someone who is still caught up with his past romance. And his bright bubble popped in a second. 

He found himself sitting in front of RL Kim again for an update on Jinhwan's case but he has nothing to say. Besides, is this really worth doing? 

After earning a disappointed look from RL Kim, he bumped right into his best friend who hasn't been talking to him for a week now. He understands Donghyuk's sentiments. How can he even call himself Donghyuk's best friend if he's keeping things from him?

"Hey" is the only thing he managed to say. But Donghyuk walked pass by him. He frowned from the unfamiliar treatment. He is not used to the man's cold shoulder. "Donghyuk" he called once again and this time, the man finally looked at him. 

"First of all, I'm sorry." He said after some time. But the other man is still silent, eyes looking at the vast sky. They are both sitting on a bench at the firm's roof top. "I know I have been a jerk." He added. 

Donghyuk scoffed. "Yes, you are." Finally, he responded and Junhoe chuckled. 

"I'm sorry, okay. I didn't mean to keep things from you but I am also unorganized and in a mess. You know, I also can't understand myself."

"I understand." Donghyuk turned to him, eyes looking at him, worried and sincere. “But how are you now?”

"I have come to figure things out and I guess, I'm doomed." He chuckled putting one hand on his nape and titled his head towards the sky. It’s bright and sunny. It felt peaceful.

"Dude, you are over since day one! I can see everything on you. You are this crystal clear ball that everyone can see through." Donghyuk started but stopped when he shot him a sullen glance. "Okay, only those who really know you can see through you." He corrected. 

"I don't know, he went with me in Jinhae last weekend and I just got to realize that I am in love with him." He confided, the last few words in a fading manner. 

"Wait, come again? He went with you in your hometown? Like on your home, with your parents?" The JA asked completely dumbfounded. 

Junhoe bit his lips and nodded shyly. Donghyuk erupted in a bemused laugh in return. "You sure work swiftly and surely." He teased. 

"Damn you!" was all he could say. He's relieved he is now okay with Donghyuk. His best friend isn't really the type to resent on things so he really is thankful for the man. 

"I just want to warn you. Chanwoo had told me something and knowing that you are harboring such feelings for the man makes me concerned about you." Junhoe snapped his head towards him and anticipated his next words. "He is still not over his past love so I want you to guard your heart. I don't want you to get hurt."

This is not a news to him. He knows about it and he is fine with it. _Maybe?_ "Dong, I just told you I love him. But that doesn't mean that I am planning to start a relationship with him." He reasoned out. 

"What?! Do you just prefer being colleagues with benefits then?!" Donghyuk teased again and Junhoe acted throwing a punch on the man's arm. 

It's too early to hope for anything right now. The fact that he is now aware of his feelings is already enough. Besides, he can't bet on his feelings when he has no idea on Jiwon's thoughts. That's just too perilous and hasty. 

"And one more thing," Donghyuk interrupted his silence. "Why did Jiwon call you 'Babe' in front of his ex?" 

Junhoe heaved a sigh. That's another problem to solve. "It just happened. We sort of did it on the spot when Jinhwan saw us. We were pretending as lovers." 

This time it's Donghyuk's turn to exhale loudly. "For what?"

He can't answer his question. Even his self doesn't know why Jiwon did it. And the funny thing is he can't say no every time Jiwon needed his help. "I don't know." Donghyuk didn’t push for it further and instead, tapped his shoulder comfortingly. 

"How about the case? What will you do about RL’s command?" 

“I guess I’ll be that once-in-a-lifetime-nosy Junhoe you will ever see?” He joked and they both laugh. He’s got one thing off his chest and he somehow felt at ease for the first time in three months. Maybe Jiwon walking in Kim & Jung is the trouble he’d been avoiding all his life. Yet he welcomed him in his arms and threw an extravagant party of one night stand, pretend relationship and unfinished business. He can’t help but chuckle at his insane deeds.

“Junhoe, I need your help.” Jiwon barged in immediately in his office without any preamble. He abruptly lifted his head and looked at the man who looks bothered and restless.

He heaved a sigh. “What is it?”

“Would you help me with Jinhwan’s case? I’m sorry this doesn’t concern you at all but I just really needed an additional hand to solve his case.” Junhoe can sense the urgency on the man’s voice. He can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy making his chest tighten. For a moment he is only looking at the man’s face, watching the creases on his forehead, the bent of his threaded eyebrows and the frown on his lips. And he can’t help but fold on his plead. 

“Alright” he murmured. 

The man crossed the distance and hugged him tightly. “Thank you! I always knew I can count on you!” Jiwon exclaimed. 

“Here” Jiwon dropped all the files involving Steels Motor Corporation and Jinhwan. “Jinhwan told me he didn’t lay a finger on all the slush funds indicated there and he never had any foreign bank accounts to begin with.” Jiwon says, panting. He is totally furious or something that Junhoe can’t quite explain. And it’s making him hurt.

He grabbed Jiwon’s hands and squeezed it tightly. “Calm down, Ji. We can handle this.” He said with sincerity and Jiwon looked at him in the eyes. After a moment, the muscles on his face softened. He broke into a smile and whispered him a small _thank you_. 

“Does this mean he is being framed? For what?” Junhoe inferred after reading a ton of the files. Clearly, Jinhwan hasn’t left the country after his marriage with SMC’s only heir, Kim Hanbin. For three years, he became a faithful husband yet the Director of the Corporation is defaming Jinhwan of things such as stealing money, blackmailing, etc. to kick him out of the family registry thus, these overlapping charges; embezzlement and plunder included. 

“The marriage is just for political reasons just to strengthen the power of the company but the board has learned that they are actually in love with each other thus, the need to break them up.” Jiwon replied scrubbing his palms on his face and heaving a deep sigh. Junhoe can’t help but make a face. _Why does a conglomerate want to pry on personal relationships?_ That’s just too lame and uncalled for.

“Do we have any other proof to refute the charges? I mean, the evidences are carefully and strategically tampered. Even I, if I’m the judge, will side with them upon seeing all of these proof.” Junhoe said earning him a disappointed look from Jiwon. This matter is huge; SMC is the biggest conglomerate in South Korea. Anyone who got to their bad side will definitely lose with just a flick of the Director’s finger. 

“Hanbin is willing to testify. Will it be enough?” Jiwon asked hopeful, looking at him expectantly. And Junhoe hates to break it but they needed stronger evidence. 

“I’m afraid we needed a stronger one, Jiwon. Hanbin’s testimony is not enough. We need a more conclusive and tangible evidence.” Junhoe advised but knowing SMC, they won’t easily let Jinhwan win.

“Damn it!” Jiwon cursed under his breath while ruffling his hair. Junhoe can’t help but stare at the 4D modern Zeus in front of him looking so smoking hot in his slicked black hair and green long-sleeved patterned polo folded just under his wrist. 

_Junhoe, in the middle of a serious matter, really?_ He shook his head vehemently to fully erase the unnecessary thought and cursed his own self. 

At that moment, Jiwon’s phone buzzed from an incoming call. “Jiwon speaking, who is this? Jinhwanie-hyung?” Junhoe arched his eyebrow upon hearing the endearment. “What? Where are you? Who are you with? Alright, I am with Junhoe right now. Okay, we’ll see you. And please, take care.” Jiwon pleaded before hanging up and now, Junhoe’s eyebrow is etched higher than the Baekdu Mountain. 

“Jinhwan was almost kidnapped!” Jiwon exclaimed, exhaling deeply right after ending the call. “Luckily, Hanbin saved him on time and they are on the run. He specifically asked you and we’ll meet them somewhere.” He added while looking at him. 

_He asked for me?_ He was startled. Why would Jinhwan look for him? 

“Let’s go.” Jiwon called and dashed off towards the door without looking back at him. He bore daggers towards the man who is already halfway the lift before he stood on his feet and grabbed his coat. 

“I get it he’s your Princess, jeez! Calm the fuck down and wait up!” he mouthed while rolling his eyes before switching the lights off. He can already feel that this night will be a long night!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am in badly need of your reactions. Do you still feel like you are reading DAS? Since we have entered the second half, I had a hard time drafting this chapter as I was momentarily lost in my train of thoughts. So please, point out where did you feel lost or something. 
> 
> Thank youuu 💙💜


	8. Insubordination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had already accepted that Jiwon will never look at him the way he wanted. But fatal blows are just too painful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi to Mims, @koodeogihoe, I am forever grateful to you for the great big help. This chapter is yours, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

Junhoe almost had a heart attack from the speeding driving skills of the man behind the steering wheel. They were running at 140kmph for Christ’s sake! They crossed the distance to the outskirt town in just ten fucking minutes in the middle of a rush hour. Who in their right mind would drive in that ungodly speed?!

“Oh God, thank you I’m still alive.” He whispered right after Jiwon got out of the car. He didn’t even bother to turn the ignition off; he just strode unabashedly towards the secret cabin into the woods. He heaved a sigh before pushing the button off and smoothed his crumpled corporate attire before slowly crawling out of the man’s G10.

“You came here quickly.” He heard a familiar muffled voice inside. He scoffed “of course, we travelled like a speed of light, duh.” He mockingly whispered to himself. He admits that he is being childish right now but you if one will be in his shoes five minutes ago, you can’t help calling every divine being including the Greek and the Roman Gods while you are seating in the passenger seat of Jiwon’s car! He would never ride on his car ever again! 

“Where is Junhoe?” Jinhwan asked which he answered with a clearing of his throat and a wave of his hand. “Junhoe, I’m glad you are here!” Jinhwan exclaimed and rushed grab his hands and squeezed it gently which made him confused so suddenly. Why would he even specifically ask for him, they aren’t even that close?

“Hi, I am Kim Hanbin, Jinhwan’s husband, nice to meet you.” The other man in the room introduced himself. And Junhoe nodded in acknowledgement. “Junhoe” he curtly replied while shaking the man’s hand.

The four of them are seated in a circle while gathering the information about the abduction incident an hour ago. According to Jinhwan, he was suddenly dragged out from his own car and was forced to get on another vehicle. Luckily, Hanbin has Jinhwan tracked so he immediately followed the convoy and saved his husband from his father’s secret security team.

They only had themselves when they decided to hide for a while. Hanbin’s Mustang is left parked in the middle of an unknown road to avoid SMC from tracking them. They just hailed a cab to get to the man’s private cabin where they are right now with no cash and clothes, just the things they are wearing right now.

The plan will be the couple will lie low for a while before they go abroad. It was the most plausible ‘solution’ that they can think of right now to stop the madness of the SMC and to save Jinhwan from God knows what situation the company is planning. Its cowardice, right, but it’s the only thing they can think of as of the moment. Luckily, Hanbin has some cash stashed in the cabin which will be enough to cover their living expenses for at most three months.

Junhoe just realized that being born with a silver spoon is not that ideal to live in. It’s just too complicated and trivial. Even personal relationships are deemed public. And he feels like he is an accessory to the crime or an accomplice but what can he do, his lovesick self is the one to blame. 

Junhoe took the initiative to help Jinhwan in putting the beddings on the rooms while the two other men went out to buy some takeout meals. It’s already pretty late if they still have to get groceries and to cook. “How are you feeling? I mean, with all the shits in your married life, how are you coping up?” Junhoe can’t contain his curiosity about how the man manages to stick smiles on his lips amidst his crappy situation.

Jinhwan hummed while zipping the pillow case, thinking about his question. “Perhaps, it’s the power of love? Lame right? I don’t know.” He chuckled and Junhoe watched him pucker his lips which eventually straightened into a thin smile, his face brightened up with certainty. “It’s because no matter how much the SMC tries to judge and destroy me, as long as Hanbin believes in me, that’s already enough. Although our marriage was purely just for business, Hanbin comforted me while I ache for the heartbreak I caused Jiwon. I bet you already heard of our story?” 

“Yeah” was the only thing he can say.

Jinhwan smiled and hugged him tight. “That’s why I am so glad to know he has you. It’s very shameful of me to ask this but please, take care of him. This is the first time I saw him so genuinely happy every time you are around and it makes me feel assured.” Jinhwan pulled out from the hug but his hands stayed on his arms. “The way his face lit up while looking at you, the way his eyes always follow you around, that jerk, he is head over heels for you.” Jinhwan squinted his eyes, teasing him. 

But Junhoe knew better, Jiwon does it because he wanted the man to feel jealous, to avenge for breaking his heart. Junhoe loved to hear those words but the sad truth is he is just a tool for Jiwon. And he will never be more than that. 

The couple insisted that they should stay for the night as it was almost midnight and they wanted to return the goodness of the two. After sharing takeout meals, they all went on their respective rooms to rest and restore their energy. They need to stay vigilant in case some men of SMC were able to track them down. 

Junhoe stirred up from his sleep when he felt his throat dried. He got up and headed towards the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. While strutting on the hallway groggily, he heard soft voices talking in the living room. He hid himself properly when he heard their footsteps approaching from where he is standing.

“Are you really okay, Jinhwanie-hyung?” Jiwon softly asked Junhoe can see them standing a few meters away from him.

“Yes, I am. I am so much grateful for your help, Jiwon. I can’t believe that after all the things I did; you’re still helping me get out of this mess. I’m sorry.” Jiwon wiped the man’s tears and hugged him. 

“Don’t worry about it. I will always be here for you, hyung.” The man replied pulling himself out from the hug and kissed the older man in his forehead. 

Junhoe snapped his head away from the view and instead, bumped his head strongly on the wall. The physical pain from the bump is nothing compared to the ache he is feeling in his chest. He just wanted to drink a glass of water peacefully yet what he got is heartache and a headache. The blatant jealousy he is feeling is taking over him, making him seethe in anger. How much does Jiwon love the older that he is willing to do everything for the man who hurt him?

After witnessing that heart-wrenching scene, Junhoe had trouble going back to sleep. With a number of tossing and turning in his bed, he gave up in the end and stood up to catch some air on the back porch of the cabin. The small wooden house is situated near the heart of the forest, before a clearing. Sounds of crickets and owls filled the midnight air where the waxing gibbous moon is about to set indicating that dawn is already breaking.

The cold blow of the wind soothed his troubled mind as he breathes deeply, inhaling the air as if doing it will clear any unwanted and unimportant thoughts that keep him wide awake. The light orange sprouting in the east side filled up his eyes. The dark shadows of the towering trees contrasting the orange sky made him feel at ease. And with just a few fluttering of his eyes, he was swept away by the peaceful darkness.

Junhoe woke up feeling warm under the sunlight that is already high up in the blue sky. The blinding light hit his face directly as he stand up and do some stretching. It has been a while since he last did a full blown workout and his body already needs it. Upon standing up, a woollen grey blanket slipped on his feet and he found himself frowning in confusion. This is the blanket draping on Jiwon’s shoulder last night when he saw them. Still in a daze, he carefully picked the blanket up and shrugs his thoughts while approaching the door to go inside.

Upon setting his foot inside, he is greeted by the delicious aroma of dripped coffee making his stomach rumble. “Good morning” Jinhwan warmly greeted him which he just nodded as an acknowledgement. The stinging sensation in his chest came flooding in and he hurried to go back to his room. He has no more reason to stay here. 

Turning his heels towards his room, he bumped into Jiwon, freshly showered, his familiar scent soothing his nose. “Hey” the man greeted but Junhoe didn’t even bother to reply back and instead, harshly close his door.

By the time he finishes showering he checked his phone for some messages. A handful came from his LA and RL Kim but almost all of them are from his best friend. He also saw a message from the HR Division of the firm. Any notices or announcements in their firm are disseminated through sms. This might be an important one, he clicked the message open. 

_This is to inform everyone that Mr. Koo Junhoe, our Equity Partner in Kim & Jung, has violated the clause in Insubordination thus, being suspended from his work and duties for exactly one month from now on. He is advised to be out of work while waiting for the decision of the steering committee..._

Junhoe only managed to read a few of the message as he slowly sits on top of his bed to calm his nerves and his pounding heart. His hands are shaking and he is having troubled breathing. His phone buzzed and he unconsciously answered it on the first ring.

“Junhoe, Jesus, where the hell are you?!” Donghyuk’s raised voice is heard at the end of the line. Junhoe slightly pulled his phone away from his ears because Donghyuk’s voice is ringing. “Why are you suspended from work? What happened?” He asked consecutively. Junhoe hasn’t recovered from the shock yet the added anxiety when he heard Donghyuk’s worrying voice made his head pound. 

“I’m sorry Dong, but I have to go.” he ended the call immediately without waiting for the man’s answer. He cradled his head and suppressed his sobs. Damn it, why does his migraine have to appear now?!

“Junhoe, are you in there?” Jiwon suddenly called from the other side of the door following a few urgent knocks. It seems like he had already read of his suspension notice. 

“Go away!” Junhoe shouted but his voice only made an incoherent cry piercing his throat from the force in his voice box. He hadn’t anticipated another kick of pain in his head and he winced in pain; sobbing, this time, louder.

“Junhoe open the door! Please.” Jiwon’s knocks became louder and heavier but Junhoe doesn’t have any energy left to shoo him away nor to open the door. He settled on pressing his fingers on his temple hoping to ease the pain but instead, the beating and ache on his head had worsened. He was crouched down in a foetal position with nothing but his bathrobe covering his skin. 

A pair of warm, strong hands helped him lie comfortably on the bed and tucked him under the blanket. After a little while, he felt the same hands caressing his forehead but he can’t open his eyes; doing it will just worsen his migraine. “What do you need? Tell me, Junhoe!” Jiwon asked frustration is evident in his tone but Junhoe can’t even reply a whisper.

“Here’s an Advil. It’s for his headache.” He heard Jinhwan’s voice before Jiwon held him again to help him take the pill and drink a sip of water.

“Hey, stay awake, I’ll bring you to the hospital.” Junhoe can hear Jiwon but it’s muffled. All of the sound he is hearing is slowly fading away, his eyes became heavy.

“Jiwon calm down!” He heard Jinhwan say in contained anxious manner but the man is frantic and anxious. Junhoe can feel his restlessness. “You don’t have to take him to a hospital. He just needs to take a rest.”

“But” Jiwon interjected about to say something but Jinhwan stopped him. Junhoe felt shuffling movements and grunts from Jiwon.

“I’ll start the car, wait here.”

Junhoe grabbed the hand he can easily reach and squeezed it gently. From the crooks and bends of the hand, Junhoe is guessing it’s from Jiwon. He held on the hand tightly as if it’s his lifeline and whispered “Please stay” vaguely before completely losing his consciousness. 


	9. Dark Horse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiwon’s done with all the bullshit. And he’s taking the problem down to the ground. He won’t back down this time. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this is the most-awaited POV of Jiwon!
> 
> I’m gladly dedicating this chapter to Lanour-nim, @Junbob231, for the beautiful words you sent me last night. Thank you so much for always telling me nice words. Love you 💙💜

Jiwon hardly pressed the accelerator under his foot with a clenched jaw and tight grip on the steering wheel. _Not again. Not this time._ He won’t let them make him suffer again. In the middle of a carless Seoul highway, his speeding G10 stopped at the curb in front of a towering building with three bold letters hanged at the side of the tip. _SMC_

As soon as Junhoe lost his consciousness, Jiwon also lost his entire sobriety against the evil corporation. “I’m sorry Son, but I was just told by your father that Kim & Jung is suspending Junhoe out of his work. I can’t do anything with it, you know your father’s temperance, and he will do anything to appease his anger.” RL Kim had explained when he called him almost immediately after reading the HR notice.

He burst the door open and the familiar aura of dignified and nobility of the conglomerate overwhelmed his anger. But no, he won’t back down. He will never do that anymore.

He is aware of the shocked glances thrown in his way by the employees as he struts his way until the top floor of the building but, he couldn’t care less. The last time he set foot here was the time he cursed that he will never come back no matter what happens. But shit happened and he’s back to resist this time. 

Four years ago, he was plopped down on his knees in front of his father who is ignoring him, signing papers continuously. His knees are already shaking violently making his muscles cramped from not moving for about eight hours now but his pleading causes no effect for the old man. 

He's on a silent protest. Protest to stop his father from forcing to marry his best friend with his younger brother. He was being punished by his father for being the illegitimate yet the favourite. He is being preferred by his grandfather to be the successor of his most prized possession, the SMC. And his father hated it. Well, truth be told, he has been hated by his father ever since because he was only a result of a one-night mistake during his teen years. 

At an early age, he lost his mother from leukaemia, and from that moment on, he only has Jinhwan. He easily recovered from the trauma because of his best friend. Even when he was taken in by the old Kim, his grandfather, Jinhwan didn’t leave his side. Being the son of a family friend, Jinhwan was betrothed to the next heir of SMC. But no one took the agreement seriously. 

Every time his father bullies him, he is always running towards Jinhwan who also embraces him warmly. And Jiwon thought, the man might be his silver lining, his last hope for a happy and peaceful life. But his father always find a way to make him suffer, especially when he had gained the power as the company director, and taking Jinhwan away was the string he pulled to kick him out of the country.

Hanbin, initially, doesn’t want the marriage; he is not interested in managing the business as he prefers writing literatures. He is a renowned poet and at an early age, he had published volumes after volumes of poems in all types; haikus and proses included. But, what the iron man in the family wanted, will be followed. With a sorry heart for him, Hanbin is wedded off to Jinhwan without him doing anything as he was tricked. 

After earning his license in law, he was sent to the Korean Embassy in Massachusetts as a diplomatic consular officer by his father. And he was held down by his secret security agency. If not for his Uncle Seokwoo for giving him a position in Kim & Jung, he is probably still in the US. Not knowing the existence of the only man who made him feel being himself, being Jiwon. 

All this time, he felt like he is just living a borrowed life. He is just a puppet to entertain his father; he is just an illegitimate child who isn’t supposed to live. And Junhoe magically washed his entire burden away. 

That night at the IP Bar, he looked so gorgeous in his all-black attire resembling the feisty and the grouchy God of the Underworld, Hades. He was smitten by the sharp stare of his slit eyes, the slight curve of his lips and his oozing ambiguity from head to toe. His breath was literally taken away just by watching him nurse his glassware of Daniel’s and the occasional sighs escaping his lips throughout the night. 

And when he felt his soft velvety skin, the attraction grew stronger. The way he felt good under his palm, those sensual lips crashing in his own, he lost all of his senses and gave in to the temptation. It was the night he truly felt the ultimate happiness in the arms of the man. And that night, he promised his self to set his life straight to be the perfect person for Junhoe. He wanted to be worthy of the man’s love.

But just as he is about to do everything right, his father wanted to break his brother and Jinhwan apart. And he can’t allow that to happen so he was doing his best to help the two at the cost of taking advantage of Junhoe. And before it’s too late, he’ll fight back head on, cutting all the limbs of the problem, even if he’ll go against his father. 

With heavy steps and determined courage, he burst his father’s door open and met his gaze with all seriousness. Director Kim plastered a menacing smile upon seeing him. 

“Well, look who’s here. What made you visit your old man?” He asked voice full of sarcasm.

“I’ll cut to the chase. Leave Junhoe alone and we’re fine.” He replied in his thick, dangerous and low voice. 

The man answered with his crisp laugh, booming and ringing. “You make me laugh, young man. Why do you think that I have anything to do with Junhoe?” 

“Quit the act. I know you’re the reason why he is suspended at work. For once, will you please stop bullying people for your own satisfaction? Does that make you a bit higher than them? You even toy with your children, how can you even do that?” His eyes are blazing with disgust and disappointment towards a fifty-year old man who is acting childish. 

“Why, it’s fun! You would never feel what it feels like to be this powerful because I won’t let you have it. You are just a mistake I wanted to erase but you’re so damn good in wrapping your grandfather around your little finger. I don’t know how you did it but now that I have the power, I’ll strip everything you have.” The old man scoffed and he seethed in anger all the more.

He pulled out his phone and keyed in the number of his grandfather’s lawyer. “Yes, Attorney Kwon, this is Jiwon, yes. I would like to tell you that I am accepting everything included in Grandfather’s will, including SMC Directorship. Thank you.” He was looking intently straight to the bewildered eyes of the old man in front of him. Then he smirked, a wicked one. He felt like he has become the person he loathed the most but you can only overpower an evil with pure vileness.

“Pack your things, old man. Tomorrow, you’re just like the other people in this world. Weak and powerless.” His words are stinging and the old man deserved it. He walked out of the room holding his head high and a proud smile in his lips. 

The shrilling cry of the man inside the room pierced through the hallway he is walking on. One down, two to go. And this time, Junhoe is on top of his list. Before starting the ignition, he called Jinhwan to check up on Junhoe. He suddenly missed the man; he can’t wait to go home.

“Jiwon, Junhoe is gone.” Jinhwan replied which made him press on the brakes of his car hardly screeching his tires. 


	10. Skinny Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When love becomes volatile it’ll consume you completely until you’re none. That’s how Junhoe feels and he’s giving up. He’s giving Jiwon up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really would love you to read this chapter while listening to Skinny Love by Birdy.

Junhoe fluttered his eyes open following the recollections before he passed out. He only saw darkness and the shadows of twigs slipping through his windows. He’s out for the whole day yet he still feels sick. He has no plans on staying longer so he hurriedly changed into his clothes from last night and went out of the door.

He smiled wryly upon realizing things. He clearly remembers he told Jiwon to stay but he found no one with him when he woke up. His hand frozen like he’s still holding a hand, but warmth long gone. He really stands no chance for the man’s heart. He saw the married couple laughing sweetly at each other while having their dinner. _Good for the both of you. You still find the luxury to laugh amidst your situation._ He thought before silently passing through the living room until the main door. He didn’t bother to announce his leaving, it’s useless. 

He phoned Donghyuk before leaving the cabin and is now waiting for him at the end of the private road as the entrance of Hanbin’s private property. He exhaled deeply as he is trying to figure things out on what to do since he is now out of work and totally empty handed.

Junhoe can see the tightened grip of his best friend on his steering wheel. If he is to be asked, he would honestly answer that everything that has happened sucked the hell out of him. But what can he do, he isn’t regretting everything. Hell, he can do it all over again, he won’t complain. And he wanted to beat the shit out of him for still holding on despite the reality that Jiwon will never love him back. He can’t see any spark of hope. 

He is staring at the void after the dreading ten full minutes of convincing Donghyuk that he’s ‘fine and leave me alone’ before his best friend actually took a step out of his door. The older man is reluctant to leave him but he asked for his solitary time to ponder on things. But he’s stuck here right now with nothing. His mind is refusing to think and it’s killing him. 

His phone buzzed for a call coming from Jiwon. He purposely threw his phone somewhere on the bed and grabbed his pillow and put it on top of his head hoping it will drown out everything. Then he heard three loud bangs in his main door. He grunted and shouted from the pillow. “I won’t open that goddamn door!” He muttered under his breath, although he’s pertaining to his self. 

His phone buzzed for the second time but he didn’t budge at all. He closed his eyes to ignore the man. “Open this goddamn door Junhoe or I’ll break it!” Jiwon shouted following another few heavy loud bangs in the door that made him wince. 

“Open you’re fucking door and let us sleep in peace!” A neighbour yelled which made Junhoe wriggled his whole body out of frustration. Everything is really going against him! He walked towards the door and opened it. 

He readied his sharpest, coldest glare but he is greeted by a grim man. Jiwon looked more miserable than him. And wasted drunk at that. “I’m sorry, Junhoe.” He shouted, eyes closed, head tilted towards the ceiling. “Shut the fuck up. Don’t annoy my neighbours further!” He said through gritted teeth before pulling the intoxicated man inside his flat. 

Junhoe was casually sitting on his couch, while Jiwon is leaning against the wall, with no intention to meet the other man's gaze. 

“I’m sorry.” Jiwon mumbled after a long stretch of silence. Junhoe scoffed and crossed his legs to lean further away from the man. “It’s my entire fault. I’m sorry. I already tried to explain to Uncle everything but he won’t revoke your suspension.” 

Junhoe remained silent. He knows that RL Kim is such a sly man. He’s impatient and close minded. He won’t allow any ifs and buts. If he asked you to do something, you have to do it even if it's against your will. But his stubborn self did what he has done while knowing this fact so he’s really not sorry for his mistakes. 

“Will you please say something? What do you want me to do? I’ll accept anything, punches, kicks, even curses. Junhoe, please don’t treat me this way.” Jiwon pleaded his voice is full of hurt, agony and misery. And it made his blood boil. 

He was the one who got the punishment leaving Jiwon involuntarily unscathed! He lost his job because he is trying to help him; although it is hard to admit, he did it in his own volition so he can't really blame the man. But that doesn't mean he does not deserve to feel this way? Doesn't he have the right to feel upset about what happened to him? How dare he beg him not to give him the cold shoulder!

“Get out!” He said calmly. God knows how hard he tried to stop his self to yell, this time he won’t yield anymore. He’s tired, he’s completely sucked out, he’s totally done! “Please, leave. Jiwon, I’m tired. You’re drunk and we are not even supposed to have this conversation. I’m still in daze and so are you, so please, leave.” He said exasperatedly, standing up, about to go to his room.

“Junhoe, you are being unfair! Why do you always wanted to push me away? I just did you wrong and I have no means to undo everything but why don't you let me make it up to you? I have always wanted to take care of you but you won't let me. What should I do when you are always like this?"

He is taken aback by what he has heard. “Am I the one being unfair now? Jiwon, for the love of God, don’t agitate me further! I am already feeling sick with everything that’s happening because of you yet I am asking you nicely to leave me alone and still, I am the one being unfair? Why, what did I do to deserve all of this bullshit that’s happening in my life? Why did you come here in the first place and make me feel bad about something I never did? And why am I still holding on and hoping that you’ll soon reciprocate my feelings for you when clearly, you are still not over Jinhwan? Jiwon, please I can’t go any further. Get out. Leave me alone!”

Junhoe is panting. His mixed feeling is governing his mind and is spitting unnecessary things to Jiwon. But he can’t stop himself. Jiwon had added fuel to his fire and it’s consuming his consciousness as if he has become a different person. 

“Well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I won’t and will never get out of your life. Can’t you see I am just concerned about you! I care about you but why won't you let me do things for you? And what are you saying about Jinhwan? Junhoe, I’m completely over him! I have no feelings for Jinhwan anymore!”

“Liar! I saw how you get so riled up every time something happens to Jinhwan! The way you act so possessively and thoughtfully towards him; the way you dragged me to pretend we are lovers to hurt him; the way you blatantly used me just to get back to him. I saw them all so don’t tell me you are already over him. Why it has to be me? Why should I be the one to feel miserable? What did I do? Is it because we had sex once? Is it?”

“No it’s not. It’s not because of it. And it is not just sex, Junhoe! My God, what we had that night is more than sex!” Jiwon said emphasizing every word he spitted out. “Is that how you felt? Do you think of me as just that man? And for your information, I did pulled you in that pretend relationship just so I can hold you close to me, so that we can go on dates like how lovers do. I am sending you signals that I like you!” He said his voice softening, like Jiwon wanted to soothe his pain. But Junhoe heard everything wrong. It doesn't feel right in his ears. Does he think he’ll get easily swayed with his lies?

"Quit lying in my face, Jiwon. I won’t believe you anymore. I’m done with you. Please just take your fucking leave!”

Jiwon approached him and tried to hold him in his arms but he turned sideways to evade his touch. “Junhoe, look at me, please. Ever since that night, I keep thinking about you, I keep missing you and I feel like I can’t breathe without seeing you. Your kisses, touches, gazes, I love them all, I keep remembering them and it makes me feel good. So please, don’t make me leave. Junhoe, I want you.” Jiwon pleaded but he has known better. _Want?_ That is not the word he needed to hear from the man. And clearly, he would never hear it from him. 

He took a step back and turned his heels not wanting to see Jiwon’s eyes again. He’s doing his best to stay strong but his walls are slowly crumbling. Another minute here will make him explode. Jiwon only needed him because of Jinhwan and he is completely consumed. He won’t let Jiwon use him again. “I won’t show you the way out. Bye, Jiwon.” He coldly replied before striding towards his bedroom and harshly closed his door. 

A tear fell from his eyes. It hurts too much that he doesn’t know what to do with it. He’s going to forget him now. He’d have enough and he needs to pull his self back before he totally lose himself. He slid down to the floor when he heard his main door closed. 

_Goodbye Jiwon._


	11. Tangled Attachments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To which extent would you fight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry, it took me a long time.
> 
> Trigger Warning: explicit mention of violence and abuse Please, please, please ready yourselves.

Junhoe grunted before pulling himself up at the bar. “Ninety-six” he counted as sweat trickled down his face. A few more pull ups and he plopped down to the floor, panting heavily while reaching for the bottled water at his feet. He tilted his head to gulp down the half-empty liquid on it when his eyes settled on the empty wall beside his main door. It was where Jiwon was leaning on that night. He stared at it sharply as if the man was still standing there and harshly threw the crumpled plastic he was holding towards it.

It has been two nights. Two full nights after their unprecedented fight and the pain is still there in his chest. If he’s going to be honest with himself, it just gets more excruciating as days pass by. He laid down and stared at the ceiling chuckling to his self bitterly. This is the reason why he is avoiding having this kind of attachments towards other people in the first place. It was unnecessary, addictive and even fatal. Yet, here he is, miserable, pitiful and completely worn out.

He closed his eyes to forget everything for a while. If he can just take his heart out to stop it from beating for Jiwon, God knows how much he wanted to do that! But he can’t and that makes him even more wretched. The darkness has lulled him in peace but before he was able to succumb to it, Jiwon’s pained face sketched itself in his thoughts making him sit abruptly on the floor. He stood up to go to the shower instead, hoping to drown out all this ruthless feelings with the water sliding down the drain. 

He dried himself up and settled his body on his bed. He refused to think and wallow in sadness. He didn’t even had a sip of alcohol. In fact, he grew allergic to it. It’s the start of his misery and brokenness. So he opted for working out. All of his aches, frustrations and anger are channeled through his grunts and pants until his muscle get sore. It was just a few days but he grew tired of his pull up bar. Maybe he’ll switch to jogging tomorrow whenever his body wanted to move.

Meanwhile, man in his thick black felt coat is sitting cross legged on his swivel chair. Phone in his ear, a wicked smile is plastered on his dry lips. “Keep watching him and when you see a chance, bring him to me.” He commanded before ending the call while he lean his back to the chair, chuckling maniacally. He cannot wait to see his son begging on his knees.

Junhoe is panting heavily while crouching down; his hands are on his knees. He has been running for two hours now since three o’clock in the afternoon and the sun is about to set. He stood straight to continue jogging when he noticed a black Grandia tailing on him. He fastened his pace while having deep breaths. And the car mimicked him.

In a swift movement, he was suddenly tackled down to the ground by a pair of strong men in black suits. He grunted and tried to kick them on their shins but he became lightheaded from the unfamiliar scent he inhaled from the cloth on his nose and mouth. Fuck! Who are them? He was completely pulled by unconsciousness a moment after.

He woke up feeling a shooting pain in his neck. He has been sleeping while his head is hanging low, sitting on a small wooden chair. He moved to stretch his body but he is restricted. He has thick rope cuffing his hands on his back. Even his feet are tied. His eyes are blinded by a thick fold. Where the hell am I? He screamed but it was only muffled by a duct tape on his lips.

The only thing he can do is to sniff because his nose is the only one left uncovered. Rubber and dust! The whole place is smelled with aging tires, gunk and rust. He groaned to announce his consciousness and as if on cue, he heard a couple of footsteps; the kind of sound where the soles of the shoes is rubbing annoyingly on the gravelly floor.

He winced when he felt a hand on the blindfold. It was harshly pulled out from him, making his head bend to the direction from where it is pulled. He cried from the sharp pain in his neck. What the hell?!

He was momentarily blinded from the light of a small lightbulb above him. He squinted to adjust his eye sight. Where the hell is this? And who the hell are these people? He asked rhetorically. He roamed his eyes around to gain clues on his whereabouts but it seemed like it’s an abandoned shop where they scrap beyond repair cars.

The smell and the poor lighting made his head ache. No, not this time, migraine.

He grumbled again and the same man beside him peeled the tape off of his lips making him twist his head to the other side. “Fuck you!” he snarled at the man almost immediately but the bastard smirked at him loosely like he was mocking him.

“What do you want from me?” he added but the man turned his heel; back against him and from there, he saw a man sitting across him from a distance; legs crossed and back leaning against an upholstered chair. He can’t quite make up the face of the man but when he opened his mouth to speak, he recognized him immediately. The man is none other than the Director of SMC, Kim Seokwon.

“I can’t believe Jiwon chose a man like you. A total whack jab and unrefined.” He commented, but Junhoe only made a mocking face. He has no idea what the man is spouting but the fact that he was abducted here was pure comedy. What does he even have to do with Jinhwan and Hanbin? They have no point of tangency, he can’t even consider the couple as his friends!

“Call him.” The Director instructed the man from a while ago. Junhoe furrowed his brows; he is seriously confused right now. But the calls just go straight to voicemail. Junhoe can’t help but laugh. Whoever they are calling, using him as the bait won’t do them good. It’s useless.

"Damn that man. Proceed to Plan B." Kim Seokwon uttered then one by one, the men in suits inclosed him around, not leaving him any open space to run to. He struggled against the restrictions but before he can do that, a man swing his fist on his jaw. His head fell back on the chair making his ears ring. Another punch was thrown at the side of his lips busting it. That hurts! But he remained poker face. He won’t satisfy the evil man by begging for his life.

A kick in the gut made him tumble to the ground, his head banging on the cold floor. He coughed blood. He is in pain, he wanted to shout, curse at all of them but he remained silent. He just have to endure a few more jabs and kicks and maybe, he will be fine when they realize, they won’t get anything from him. But damn, it’s unbearable, his soul wanted to leave his body right there and then!

“Take a photo and send it to that bastard. I bet, he’ll be the first one to call this time.” He heard from Director Kim but his focus was on the stinging sore in his body. He stared at the void, contemplating on the wrong things he have done so far.

He was a nice man, a friend and a son. He’s been living a decent and silent life, well except for the numerous controversial cases he have won. He chuckled mindlessly, he is probably being punished by those victims of the defendants he have handled.

A moment later, he heard his phone ring but he has no energy left to pick it up.

“Just what I thought.” The SMC Director muttered before a man tugged on his pockets to get his phone. “Hello, my son. Have you seen the gift I have sent you?”

Junhoe can’t quite make up the voice on the other line but it is hoarse, like the person is shouting or something. “Junhoe, he wanted to hear your voice.” Seokwon leaned closer to him and aimed the phone in his ear.

“Junhoe, Christ, are you in there? Please speak up.” Although limping from the pain, his heart faltered upon hearing the frantic voice from the other line. It was full of worry and urgency. He can’t forget that voice. It belongs to someone whom he misses the most. “Junhoe? Tell me you’re okay, please.” The man pleaded but Junhoe can’t speak. His mind went blank. It was just a few days but he longed to hear him again. He thought he will never hear that deep rich voice again. While deep in his thoughts, someone swung his feet on the center of his spine and he straightened out eliciting a loud cry. “Fuck, Jiwon, it hurts! Fuck!”

He heard it ambigously but Jiwon is now yelling profanitites to the old man. But the Director is just laughing crisply like he just got his most prized possession. “I told you to stay still. So now, this man’s life will be the price of your treachery, my dear son. Unless you renounce your Directorship, then I’ll bring this man, whom you dearly love, back to you unscathed. Say, is it a nice deal?”

The old man laughed, totally loving the situation right now. “Jiwon, this is purely business. You give what I take, you gain what I offer you. Oh no, no, no. I am not taking no for an answer. You just have to go here and give me what I want. I’m giving you half an hour to bring me your abdicating contract. I’ll send you our location. Remember, you are the only one who can come here. Any sign of a third party, then your man is dead, clear? This is the only way I can talk to you, I should have done this sooner.”

“Kim fucking Jiwon, don’t you dare come here or I’ll shell you out alive!” He managed to shout through gritted teeth. This is a decoy. Seokwon is just using him to lure Jiwon here. Who knows, they might end up killed in here. And he won’t let this man hurt Jiwon. Not in his watch! “End that call and pretend you didn’t hear anything.” Someone treaded in his gut and he drew blood in his mouth. “You hear me idiot? Don’t go here, for the love of God!” He mustered all the strength left in his body to send Jiwon the signal hoping he’ll take it.

Director Kim ended the call abruptly and glared at him. Junhoe smirked. He’s putting up a fight no matter how disadvantaged he is. He is still unsure of the truth but whatever this man wanted from Jiwon, he won’t gain anything. Not until he’s alive. He’ll protect Jiwon with his all.

“Bastard, shut your mouth!” He growled and face his men in the room. “Continue what you are doing. I wanted Jiwon mad when he sees this useless man half dead!” Seokwon ordered before he turned his heels and sit on the chair while waiting for Jiwon.

He was tramped on endlessly; he lost count how many times he was punched in the gut, on his torso, and in his face.But he is fine. He has to be fine for Jiwon.

He was cradling his whole body for a long stretch of time. His eyelids are getting heavy and his whole body went fully numb. The only thing he hears was the sound of a car pulling from the curb, ignition is forgotten to turn off. “Junhoe!” The newcomer pierced the silence with his urgent yell. Damn, this man never did listen to him!

“Good grace! What have you done?! Fuck! Junhoe, oh God, good Lord!” Junhoe watched him while Jiwon paces on his feet, arms on his head. He was about to stride towards him when the old man interjected.

“Stop. You can only go until there. Where’s the contract?”

Jiwon found his gaze and they stared at each other for a long moment.

“Jiwon, where’s the document?”

“It’s in the car!” He snapped. His looks are sharp and murderous.

Kim Seokwon commanded one of his men to search for the contract in Jiwon’s car while the both of them stayed rooted from where they are.

“Are you okay?” Jiwon asked softly while not breaking their eye contact. He smirked, but hisses when he felt a jab of pain on the corner of his mouth. Jiwon frowned in worry.

“I’m fine.” He whispered but it was almost inaudible.

“Fuck!” Jiwon muttered under his breath while he ruffled his hair with his hands.

“Why is that man even important? I despised you for being a hindrance for my power yet I abhor you more in being a gay. People like you, two, has to be in eternal damnation. You, both, deserve to go to hell!”

“Shut up! I’m tired of your oppressions! I was also a child, dad! I was also a human who needed your love! But you never gave me even an ounce of it! You never gave me even a crumb of your care! Why? What did I do aside from being an unwanted child? Tell me, because I spent three decades searching for the answer but I never found anything!” Jiwon wiped his tears harshly and Junhoe ached for it. Watching him hurting is the most heart-wrenching thing to see.

The man on the other side fell silent. He was about to say something but he stop midtracks. Then he closed his lips. Jiwon took it as a chance to pour everything out once and for all.

“Dad, I was hoping that someday, you will also look at me the way you look at Hanbin. I was thinking that maybe, just maybe one day, you’ll hug me warmly like how I imagined it. I was imagining that one day will come when you’ll finally smile at me brightly whilewe are have a nice dinner, laughing at each other’s craziest stories, and play baseball or golf. Then we’ll drink all our worries away. But it never happened.” Jiwon smiled, eyes shrinking but tears abundantly brimming.

“Everytime when Hanbin cries because he is missing his mother, you’ll run towards him to comfort him, cheer him up and make him feel that you love him. I was there, I was always there, Dad, hoping that one day, you’ll be there for me too whenever I miss my mom. That you’ll also cheer me up, make me feel that I have you. But you didn’t. And instead, you took everything away from me. Grandpa, Hanbin, Jinhwan, and now, Junhoe. What did I do? What have I done to deserve your hate all this time? You want me gone? What, you want me dead? Tell me, maybe I can do it for you. But please don’t hurt the people I love. Because they are the only ones who made me feel all the things I wanted to feel from you. They are the only ones who loved me when you did not even bother to.”

Junhoe closed his eyes. He can’t fathom the pain Jiwon is feeling right now. His words are piercing through his heart. Because when Jiwon needed him the most, he chose to give him up. He pushed him away. And he can’t forgive himself from doing that.

“Director Kim” the man whom the mentioned man ordered to rummage Jiwon’s car came back with cuffs already in his wrists, walking behind is a group of SWAT team.

“You! I told you to come here alone. You never really listen to your father!” The man screeched in booming voice.

“Hold your position!” The captain of the police stopped him from moving.

Jiwon approached Junhoe slowly with a smile. He helped him sit out right and untangle the ropes from him. “I’m sorry.” The man choked a sob but Junhoe glared at the man in front of him. It was the only thing he can do right now. How dare this man apologize for something he didn’t do! But finally, the storm is now over and they are already safe.

While Jiwon was helping him to stand straight, Junhoe caught a glimpse of a blinking light in the dark coming from Director Kim’s hand. It was almost too late before it registered to him that it was a pistol aiming at Jiwon.

He gathered all his strength to turn them both around following a loud shot of fire. They both stumble to the ground having deep breaths. Junhoe hit his head on the cold floor.

“Junhoe!” Jiwon screamed and he smiled warmly as a response before he completely surrendered to the dark.


	12. Ocean Eyes

_He can’t quite make up what he is staring at. A planet? A convex lense? A puddle of goo? A bowl of luscious chocolate? But something dilates. It expands into a bigger circle and at the centre was another smaller one illuminating his face. It was an eye? No two. Junhoe is staring back at two warm brown eyes. Deep-seated ocean eyes of Jiwon._

_“Can I love you tonight?”_

_It took him a split second to answer. He nodded while staring at the man’s face in hooded gaze. “Junhoe” Jiwon called while he’s at the summit of his orgasm. Junhoe sighed. It sounds so affectionate. Like the man owns him and Jiwon is his._

_“You are so beautiful, I want to keep you.” He heard the man say as he pulled his shaft out from inside him and collapsed beside him, saddling his arm on his sweaty torso and kissing him on his temple. “God, I really do.”_

_Junhoe chuckled at the man’s remark and closed his eyes while his thoughts is swaying by unconsciousness._

_“Are you flirting with CEO Song?” Jiwon asked jaws clenching. The way his facial muscles tightened made Junhoe’s heart beat erratically._

_“What are you talking about?” Junhoe snapped while turning his heels to leave the man who is spouting pure nonsensical things. But he was grabbed back so they are now face to face. Junhoe can see jealousy from the man’s sharp irises. It’s dilating and the specks of dark brown are visible from it._

_“I don’t want you talking closely to anyone other than me. I only want you to look at me, Junhoe.”_

_The dumbfounded taller man scoffed like he can’t believe what he is hearing from the other EP outside of the conference room._ The nerve of this man! _He thought while harshly pulling his arm back and dashed off leaving his insane colleague calling his name until he disappeared from his sight._

_How dare he claim him like they are lovers! They don’t even have any tangled attachment!_

_“Can I kiss you?”_

_Four words. In just a short phrase, Junhoe’s breath is taken away. It’s the effect of whiskey, for sure. And he’s blaming on it all. And no, he’s going all in never minding the result tomorrow morning. He nodded adamantly and leaned in to meet Jiwon’s warm lips._

_They kissed passionately, tongue roaming around each other’s mouth. It’s fierce and intense like it was a do or die match. No one is backing out and both is being brave._

_Jiwon pushed their bodies toward the couch, leaning Junhoe’s back on the arm rest. The latter put his arms around Jiwon’s nape to deepen the kiss. When they broke apart to gasp for air, the man put his forehead on Junhoe’s, cupping his cheek on one of the former’s hand. “You’re so good to me, Babe. I like it.” Jiwon whispered, their lips brushing making Junhoe has his eyes wide._

_Staring at the man’s warm eyes sends him to heaven. It looks like a gate to the sanctuary that he never wanted to leave. It’s caressing him whenever Jiwon gazes at him. It’s making him feel otherworldly blissful._

_Body pressed warmly against each other, Junhoe closed his eyes to savour the moment._

_“No, Junhoe will come with us, right Babe?” It has a hint of desperation. The way Jiwon said it means he is the man’s only hope in this crazy twisted fate. Junhoe looked at him anguished. And there, he saw the fire in the man’s eyes, flickering- no, fiery._

_It’s blazing with unexplainable emotions; Junhoe is being drawn into it like it’s enticing him. And like he was casted some kind of a spell, he dissented himself, and eventually agreed to meet Jinhwan with Jiwon as his ‘boyfriend’ against his will._

_From that moment on, he knew he only needs to go further because he has no way back. Jiwon is like a one way maze, and maybe, just maybe, there is also no way out. And that’s the start of his confusion. Confusion in his rationality, and confusion in his apathy._

_It was unprecedented, he is unprepared and thus, he doesn’t know what to do about his budding attachment. Some say, feelings should not be suppressed. It should just let it grow in your heart. And that is Junhoe’s fatal blow. He did not stop his feelings, rather, he let it flourished until it’s too late to take it all back._

_It was like a raging bullet train and Junhoe began to feel afraid of it._

_“Hi”_

_For the record, their verbal tussle last night did get out of hand. One had failed to stop his mouth and the other failed to defend himself. It was really ugly. Junhoe fell asleep feeling pretty bad about the things he have told Jiwon. He’s ashamed but he can’t will himself to apologise for his madness. His pride can’t take it._

_But once he caught a glimpse of the man’s twinkling orbs under the sun while he’s leaning on his car, damn, it’s a perfect sight! His stone heart was bulldozed and left sprawled across the floor ending up like mallows, soft and plump._

_Jiwon, going out of his way and coming in front of his doorsteps to apologise made his heart somersault. The extents he does just to appease him, they are beyond questions. God, this man really makes him feel things!_

_“I’m glad I went here with you, Junhoe.”_

_Those words, from that moment Junhoe thought those words while Jiwon stares at him equates to him saying I love you. It was a funny realization, but it was the pivotal moment Junhoe had been searching for over the course of three months._

_The way everything fell perfectly at this moment, the light, the space, the time and Jiwon. It was really situated so Junhoe can finally, finally admit to himself that it was not just an infatuation but rather, he is in love with the other man sitting beside him on the passenger seat._

_He wanted to cry and laugh. It was really a whirlwind of emotions, but he’s not complaining. He’s loving it that finally, he was hit by an epiphany. It made his heart at peace, and he finally found his solace._

_He loves Jiwon without a doubt._

_“Thank you”_

_How can he not say yes when the man is pleading desperately? The way his eyes brims with worry and helplessness, he just can’t turn his back on him. He knows it’s being insanely weird but he can’t help rescuing the man from his burdens._

_He also knows he is starting to give his all without the certainty of gaining something in return but who cares? Loving is not expecting. It does not wait for a compensation nor a consolation._

_Loving Jiwon at this close proximity is enough for him. If he can just continue to admire those eyes at this distance, why would he ask for more? Even if it hurts, he would do it all the time, he will let Jiwon depend on him._

_It was the least he could do for his self._

_“Hey”_

_It was just a simple greeting. But Junhoe can’t bear the tiny stabs in his chest. He thought that keeping Jiwon at a safe distance is enough. That it will make him less hurt. But what happened is the total opposite._

_Was he just played? Did those eyes lied to him all along? Those warm gazes, gentle touches, and passionate kisses, are those only illusions? Is he just leading himself on?_

_Falling for those eyes, it was really the worst thing he did. He lost his job, he has nothing and he is very worn out. Even so at the last minute, he was never chosen. He will never be chosen by Jiwon. So he did what he should. Leave the cabin and hopefully, out of Jiwon’s web._

_“Look at me, please.”_

_Jiwon only took four words for Junhoe to melt. It was inevitable, the long-awaited dialogue is finally happening but it’s not for the ending that Junhoe had hoped. It will never be a very happy one no matter how they approach it._

_The one is uncertain and the other is in pain. And no, it is already beyond repair. No words can glue together what’s already broken. Why? Because it’s an unrequited one to begin with. When someone put so much faith in love, once it was discouraged, it will never come back together like a molten piece of steel unless when it’s cooled, frozen all the way to the seams._

_And Junhoe has to do that, to collect himself again even if it means shutting Jiwon out of his life. It was his last lifeline, his last ticket to go back to his old self pre-Jiwon era._

_Those warm twinkling irises really sold him to dejection. But until the end, he never did regret loving the man. Hell, he still wanted to run after him when he closed the door and beg. Beg him to love him back. To ask for their happy ending. But he knew better. Jiwon lied and led him on because he wanted something from him, he wanted him._ Only want

_So he bit back all of his what ifs and let the man leave out of his house and out of his life. But still, it felt hell._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_Jiwon apologising wholeheartedly, sincerity brimming in his eyes took Junhoe to let go of his hesitation. All this time he thought Jiwon only thinks of him as a tool and nothing more than that._

_But seeing him go all the way here and save him from his father made Junhoe realize it crystal clear. The man feels the same way too. Jiwon loves him too._

_He is in pain, his head, back, abdomen, legs and feet. Everything feels sore. But his heart is so happy. So elated that it blocked all the pain signals in his brain. The way Jiwon looked at him full of adoration, worry and pain, he finally felt loved._

_Junhoe is looking at him earnestly, smile wide and gummy but maybe the odds will never be in their favor. Because before they can start something, another turmoil comes._

_Seeing a gun aimed at Jiwon willed Junhoe to gather all his strengths to save the one he loves. He will catch even a bomb thrown at the man if it means Jiwon is safe. Following the loud shot, they stumbled to the floor._

_Thank God, Jiwon is safe. For the first time in three days, he felt relieved like the weights he is carrying suddenly disappeared from his shoulders. He closed his eyes lips smiling widely. For the first time, Junhoe did the right thing._

_He suddenly can’t breathe. He can’t breathe any air like he was submerged underwater. He flailed his hands and feet to swim up and gasp for air. But he can’t, he felt paralyzed._

_He can also see Jiwon a few feet away from him. Beaming at him brightly, eyes shrinking in happiness. “Jiwon” he tried to speak but he can’t. He repeated calling the man but the latter stayed still. Junhoe struggled to swim towards him but he is stuck. After a few tries, his hands and feet felt tired._

_Jiwon began to disappear gradually. His hands and feet, then his legs, then his chest. Junhoe stared at him wide eyed, “Don’t go just yet! Don’t go as I haven’t told you something yet!” He tried to shout but water keeps coming in his lungs. The man remained smiling but his eyes. His eyes illuminated everything that has happened between them. From the very start and until he collapsed on that abandoned warehouse building._

_He watched how Jiwon looked at him, how his eyes always settles on him, Junhoe unaware of it. His eyes started brimming looking how Jiwon speaks through his eyes. He choked a sob, was he this dense? How can he not notice it? How can he not feel it?_

_Before he can say anything Jiwon disappeared completely. “Jiwon!”_

“Son, Junhoe” he was pulled out from the water when he heard his mother’s worried and frantic voice. She then pushed a button on an intercom before a duo of nurse and doctor came rushing at the room.

“Koo Junhoe-ssi, how are you feeling? Do you feel pain in your head? “ he frowned but shook his head to answer the consecutive questions of the woman with a stethoscope while the nurse is pushing some buttons from a monitor.

“Your Son is fine, Mrs. There’s no need to worry about. We will just have to monitor his condition until tomorrow and he can come home the day after it.”

“Thank you so much, Doctor Shin.”

After a few further questions and examinations on him, the two medical personnels walked out of the room. Junhoe switched his gaze to his mother who looked like she haven’t had any sleep.

“Where am I?” He asked confused.

“You are in a hospital, Darling. Are you really okay now? Don’t you feel any pain?”

“I’m fine, Mom. How long did I pass out?” He asked after drinking a glass of water.

“Two and a half days. Thankfully, you weren’t shot but you had concussion.” His mother’s voice didn’t register to him as he was looking for someone.

“Jiwon? Where is Jiwon?” He searched for his mother’s eyes but he was just answered with a shook of her head.

“What do you mean? Mom?!” No that can’t be. Jiwon can’t be dead. I haven’t tell him everything yet. “Where is he?” He asked frantically before peeling the blanket off him and looked for his coat. “I’ll go look for him. Can I borrow you car?” He asked but he isn’t really waiting for an answer. He rummaged through his mother’s bag and fished out the key and dashed off in his hospital gown.

He ran even if he is still limping from being beaten down but he couldn’t care less. It’s a matter of life and death of his true feelings.

“Junhoe, where are you going?” He passed by his confused father but he didn’t look back. He has to go to Jiwon no matter what.

He climbed down of his Grandeur without shutting the ignition off, without even closing the door. He ran all the way to the place where it all had began. Jiwon’s apartment.

From what he remembers, his unit is on the fifteenth floor. His eyes are shut tightly, hands clasped together and heart’s beating erratically while waiting for the sound of the lift indicating that he has arrived at the floor he punched. When he tilted his head towards the screen, it flashes 02:00 in the morning. He chuckled at his idiocy. But his purpose needs to be done now at this moment. He can’t delay it, he can’ t wait for another second.

Once the lift opens he walked with hurried strides until he reached the seventh unit. The door reads 1507 but he suddenly chickened out. Suddenly, the butterflies in his stomach fluttered without a warning, his hands getting clammy and his heart is pounding crazily. A minute ago he is determined, but now, he doesn’t know what to do anymore. He is jittery and uncertain. He was suddenly bombarded with what if’s.

He is pacing back and forth, hands in his head, teeth biting his lips. He needs to do it now. There is no turning back. He heaved a deep breath before walking a few steps forward towards the door. And again, he exhaled deeply before knocking weakly. He cursed his self for being a coward. He has been like this since the beginning. He has been so afraid of his uncertainties making him disregard the possibilities. So he has to man up now and do it once and for all.

He made three heavy knocks again because he is an idiot, he forgot to pick up his phone from the side table. He could have just phoned him instead of knocking here like crazy! “Jiwon” he called in a loud voice but no one answered.

He mustered his courage one last time before shouting the man’s name and banging the door. But what welcomed him was only silence. He panted heavily, his body is tired. He hasn’t recovered completely yet he is here, used all of his energy up only to come at an empty house. He chuckled bitterly. Why is he so bad at timings?

He tiredly sat on the wall across the door. He lowered his head to hide the tears brimming his eyes while exhaling deeply choking his sobs. Why did they never had the perfect time? Will they really end up like this?

He stayed for a few more minutes before deciding to come back to the hospital. Maybe they weren’t really meant to be together. Maybe they just meant to meet once and watch each other draw apart after like tangent lines.

He slowly rose on his feet and wiped his tears from spilling in his eyes. He really is a loser in love. He never did great at it. But he is taken aback when he come eye to eye at two warm brown eyes. Two familiar ocean eyes which belonged to Jiwon who is standing a few feet away looking at him bewilderedly.

Junhoe forgot for a moment that in the midst of hopelessness, one can still hope for something. Something like a miracle.

“Junhoe”

“Hi”


	13. Yours Truly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end, it took Junhoe and Jiwon long to muster their courage to finally let loose of their hesitations. Is it finally their chance to start everything?

Jiwon yawned while scanning his Casio wristwatch for the time. It reads quarter to one in the morning and he just finish reviewing the settlement contract his Uncle Seokwoo had drafted for his father’s lawsuit charges. If Jiwon is to be asked, he wanted his father to pay for his sins while living behind the bars. But Hanbin pleaded for a settlement. Although having second thoughts on it, he ended up considering settlement than to imprison the former SMC Director for his younger brother and best friend and lastly, to end his relationship with his father on a clean note. 

He was hurt beyond repair. Forgiveness is still the least thing he can give to his father. Especially, when he dragged Junhoe into this ill-fated relationship. But he’ll take it slow, he’ll allow time to heal all of his wounds. That’s the most realistic way to face his situation right now. After all, he gave him a chance to exist and to live as a person. 

The settlement cited Kim Seokwon withdrawing all his claims on the conglomerate’s Directorship. He will also be undergoing an indefinite restraining order against his children including Jinhwan and Junhoe. Jiwon knew how vicious his dad is so a legally bounded contract is needed to keep all of them safe.

In a few days, he will be officially inaugurated as the new head of the company and he admits he is under a heavy pressure right now and Jiwon can’t keep his calm. He has been so preoccupied that he has no time to visit Junhoe in the hospital. He has been continuously mentored by the board on his responsibilities that he has barely time to breathe. Although he is so much grateful for their support; he is doing his best to learn them all to lead the group well yet, he has been bleeding to death.

It’s not an easy course, some successors have been learning it all their lives but he’s cramming on it and it’s seriously taking a toll on him. He heaved a restless sigh before he willed his self to push his feet and rose on his seat to go home.

His feet led him to the basement parking while his thoughts wander all the way to the hospital where Junhoe is admitted. He is missing the man but he’s ashamed to face him. It was his fault. It was all his fault. No matter how hard he tried to protect Junhoe, he still failed. He still let his father lay a hand on him and now the man is in physical pain.

That night when the man lost consciousness, he almost ran towards his father to do something he knows he will regret. But the SWAT team had everyone in control. His father and his crew of men were detained while they were both sent to the hospital. Luckily, Junhoe wasn’t shot but he hit his head on the cold floor so he passed out. Other than his deep bruises, he was not in critical condition. That time, Jiwon heaved the most relieved sigh he could muster. Because if not, he will never forgive himself if something happens to his Junhoe.

He walked absentmindedly all the way until his unit floor but he stopped on his tracks when he saw a man sitting across his door, head hanging low. He squinted his tired eyes to confirm his hunch. With bewildered eyes, he gawked at the tall man before him wearing nothing but his hospital gown. Junhoe? He thought but the man’s name escaped his lips.

The man, although his face is tear-stained and haggard, his lips were stretched into a wide and gummy smile. “Hi” he said looking a bit embarrassed while his hand is on the back of his head. Jiwon caught his breath, the man he longed to see is standing in front of him. God knows how much he wanted to run towards him and hug him tightly but he stopped his self.

He was suddenly hit by a continuous big wave of uncertainties. He shouldn’t act rashly. The least thing he wanted to do is to repeat the same mistake he did to him a week ago.

Junhoe bit his lips and shifted on his feet. Jiwon looked at him amusingly. “What are you doing here? Wait, are you okay now? I-“ Jiwon can’t continue. He licked his drying lips to grasp for some words but his mind totally went blank.

Junhoe hummed while smiling awkwardly and stared at him from head to foot. “Why are still out at this time of the night?”

Jiwon chuckled. “Did you go here just to ask where did I head out?” The tall man responded with a chortle. And just like that, a comfortable warm silence filled them.

Junhoe is seated on the couch fiddling with his fingers. His hands began sweating and his heart pounded heavily inside his chest. Jiwon invited him inside because they are already freezing in the hallway. For a moment, he kind of regretted his impulsiveness not because he can’t make up his mind but because he does not know where to start.

Will he go backwards or will he start from the beginning?

“Here’s your tea.” Jiwon said while setting the teacup in front of Junhoe on the center table. Junhoe looked up to stare at the man, he seems very tired and worn out. Junhoe bit his lips out of guilt. He can wait until the sun comes up from the sky but his impatient self chose to dash off in front of the man’s door at this ungodly hour of the night.

He absentmindedly picked the cup and sip from it making his tongue burned by the hot liquid. He splattered some on his shirt making Jiwon stood abruptly to help him. Junhoe grabbed the man’s arm as if he’s also grabbing this very chance that he will get right now to tell him everything.

“I’m sorry.” He said with his eyes closed. But he was only greeted by the other man’s silence. He opened his left eye and he saw Jiwon’s scrutinizing look on him. His face is turned into a frown upon his lack of eloquence. Junhoe mustered all his courage to continue what he is about to say. He won’t miss this last chance. “I always jump into conclusions, I am self-centered and selfish. I never allowed you to be near me (figuratively) because I am afraid. I got coward with my true feelings that I always get hurt because of my assumptions. I never allowed you to say your side; I always shut you off and ignored all the things you did for me. I know I am already late but I just wanted to tell you that I like you. I like you, no scrap it. I love you. I have come to love you with your all; either you are the unnamed man I made love to three months ago or the Lawyer Kim Jiwon that you are now.” He stopped to gasp for air, chest heaving fast, lips escaping pants.

The man in front of him remained dumbfounded. He was only looking at Junhoe in pure astonishment. Eventually, those eyes became glassy, and then one by one, tears spilled from those eyes.

Junhoe was suddenly enclosed with Jiwon’s hug, warm and affectionate. “I love you too Junhoe, since the day I saw you walking towards our table at IP Bar. Wow, I can’t believe this is happening. I thought I lost you forever.” Junhoe chuckled, this time, tears are also brimming in his eyes.

“Why would you lose me, we haven’t even started.” He said while tightening his hold on the man.

“Right, we haven’t even started.”

Jiwon is very nervous. So tense that he forgot what door he should walk into. Today is his inauguration as the newest Director of SMC and he’s so anxious. Although the board had given him so much support, he is a newbie in the corporate world. He just took a crash course on how to lead and manage a business but SMC is a huge system. It has a lot of subsidiaries from motor manufacturing factories, car distributions, as well as a charity foundation. His grandfather must have been so engrossed in flourishing the business that it turned into a gigantic one. The weight is so much to bear, but he thinks he can carry it well now that his personal worries have been lifted from his shoulders.

Hanbin and Jinhwan are finally free the moment the old Kim had signed the temporary restraining order and the settlement contract Jiwon prepared. Without an ounce of remorse for the bad things he did to his children, Kim Seokwon did not apologized nor asked for his sons’ forgiveness. What he did was to throw dagger stares while on his way to the airport. He was given an option to stay in Countryside City like Pocheon or Busan or live in abroad permanently; and the old Kim chose the latter.

And lastly, he had things smoothed out with Junhoe. They finally had a mutual understanding on their real score. And whatever that is, Jiwon felt contented. At least he can let his genuine feelings reach Junhoe without restraint and hesitations. A wide smile was plastered on his lips when he was knocked in his head back to reality.

“Earth to Jiwon.” Jinhwan chuckled after knocking the man’s temple. He only drew a sharp look on his best friend’s way. The couple is with him in the waiting room, which he is thankful for because their public display of affection is distracting his anxiety from eating his insides.

Jiwon felt a tap on his shoulder. It came from Hanbin. He have asked his younger brother a thousand times if he’s sure about not going to succeed the position but Hanbin have also answered him for as much as he asked that he is not and will not be interested with SMC. He responded the silent support of his brother with a reassuring smile. He’s happy to see that the couple has been so open with their relationship, without careful calculations, without secrecy this time.

This day will be completed only if Junhoe was here. But he can’t make it. That morning when he dropped him back to the hospital, Junhoe received a notice of his disciplinary hearing on his insubordination case which was scheduled on the same day of his appointment. Although he was a bit saddened, he willed the man to attend his hearing and they can just meet right after their respective prior commitments. “You know, you are still my endgame.” He said which made Junhoe has his cheeks in deep red.

“Here.” His best friend interrupted his thoughts once again and Jiwon acted as if he’s throwing a fist on his best friend’s jaw. But he stopped when he saw that Jinhwan is handing him a white envelope. He reached for it and examined it. Nothing is scribbled on the outside to indicate where it came from so Jiwon flipped the top open and fished the parchment paper in it.

When he stretched the neatly folded piece of paper, he saw the neat handwriting in a thick ink of a nib pen of the man who was just running in his mind all day. His lips stretched in to a giddy smile and excitedly read the letter.

“Let us all welcome the new SMC Director, Mr. Kim Jiwon.” The emcee gladly called for his name and Jiwon walked anxiously towards the makeshift stage at the center of the function hall. A warm round of applause welcomed him and he automatically flashes his formal smile. On the side are Jinhwan and Hanbin making gestures to show support and he nodded on their way.

He bowed in front of all the board, stake holders and employees to show his sincerity in succeeding the responsibilities as the head of the company before reaching the microphone from the emcee. “Allow me to greet you a great night. This evening, I am standing before you to accept all the expectations you had for me and to challenge them in order for me to be a great leader to all of you.” He began.

It was a nerve-wracking moment but for the first time, Jiwon felt fulfilled. He suddenly realized where he should be and that is where he is right now, in front of these people, giving his speech and receiving their respect in return.

“I am not yet perfect, I may still be grasping everything as of the moment, but I would like to commit myself that I will always protect, take care and love SMC as much as I can. Thank you so much for showing me never-ending support while I was trained and mentored. For that, I would like to give something in return to all of you. This night is yours, ladies and gentlemen. You can do whatever you want, free flowing drinks is on me.” He exclaimed earning a cheer from the audience. They all looked grateful and delighted, Jiwon felt pleased. He said his closing remarks and eventually hoped for everyone to have a great night.

While walking down the stage, he was soaked with ‘congratulations’, shaking everyone’s hand and giving them all smiles. After attending to the last person, he hurriedly dashed off and went to the basement parking. His phone rang for a call from Hanbin. “I’m going. Stay there until all the important people had gone home, okay?” He said before ending the call and sped his G10 towards Kim & Jung.

Junhoe felt like he is sitting on a pedestal for defendants just waiting for the guilty verdict for him. His hands are getting clammy on top of his knees and his stomach has a thousand of butterflies in it. He looked around seeing many unfamiliar faces from the steering committee. He wasn’t really sure, this is his first time to attend a disciplinary meeting, and ironically, he’s the subject of the trial at that. And his tension has intensified once the hearing started.

“Can the employee confirm they have received details in writing of the allegations against them?”

Never mind, he’ll just say anything he knows or something. He just wanted this torturous moment to end quickly! “In all honesty, I am not aware of any misconduct I may have incurred. I was just suspended suddenly without any explanation. Is that even possible?” He ranted innocently which earned him an awful much of glares and clenched jaws.

“If so, what do you think had happen why you’re given a suspension and you are in this hearing at the very moment?”

He shrugged, he’s aware that he is being sarcastic right now, but what can he do? He can’t help it, if this is the chance he will get to get back to everyone who has done him bad then so be it. “You can ask RL Kim. He’s the only one who knows why.” He said while staring intently to the man sitting at the center.

“You are being very arrogant, do you know that?” One from the panel interjected but he couldn’t careless, he smirked and squared his shoulders up. He knows he hadn’t violated any rules and he’s feeling brave about it.

“We are very disappointed with the way you are treating this matter lightly, Mr. Koo.”

“So am I.” He replied feeling done. He rose from his seat and met all of committee’s gaze one by one, feeling wronged and unfair. “You all know what, cut this formality. Fire me, I don’t care anymore-“

Anything he is about to blurt out was interrupted when the door burst open and Jiwon walked urgently inside. “Do it and I will pull the biggest account you have in this law firm out.” He said in thick and authoritative voice making everyone gasp from surprise.

“Jiwon” RL Kim warned but the man shook his head firmly.

“Mr. Kim you shouldn’t be in this room right now. Please take your leave.” A man from the committee rose from his seat. Junhoe is watching everything and he can’t absorb it. He is perplexed, completely puzzled.

“No, every one of you heard me. If you fire Junhoe today, I’ll also pull Kim & Jung out as SMC’s corporate legal authority! Junhoe holds our account and I’ll follow everywhere he goes!”

“Jiwon, come on, let’s head out. I’m done here anyway.” He called the furious man, tugging him on his arms, to extinguish the brewing riot in the room. But the man stayed rooted and instead, pulled his hand and intertwined their fingers. He looked at him in bewilderment. “What are you doing?” He whispered in the man’s ear with gritted teeth.

Jiwon looked at him softly, as easygoing like he wasn’t a time bomb a few minutes ago. “Stay put. I’m going to protect you this time.” He whispered back, eyes looking intently and protective at him and just like that, Junhoe melted, he just nodded in defeat.

He watched him heave a deep breath and his battle-ready aura resurfaced. Jiwon has always been lax and laid back. He’s always the smiley and goofy type, and seeing him in this whole new persona makes him feel something. He felt the elder’s gentle squeeze in his hand and it calmed him a little like all of the things he’s carrying in his shoulder weighed a little lighter. And for the first time today, he smiled genuinely while looking at the man beside him.

“So what,” Jiwon interrupted them. “Will you let go of the firm’s ace and lose your most valuable account or you won’t do anything? This hearing shouldn’t even be happening in the first place.”

“Kim Jiwon, it would be better if you both leave now.”

“But Uncle” RL Kim looked at them full of contempt and Junhoe needs to move now or Jiwon will be unstoppable. “Let’s go.” He hissed before pulling Jiwon outside.

The moment the door closed Junhoe pulled Jiwon on the fire exit where they had been on the latter’s first day at the firm. Jiwon broke into fits of laughter and hugged him tight. “I thought you’d never asked.” Jiwon said while he was pulled out from the hug to stare at his wondering eyes. “The letter.” He added making Junhoe caught on his intention. He immediately flushed in deep red and leaned his forehead on the man’s chest.

Junhoe felt the rapid pounding of Jiwon’s heart against his chest. When he learned about their conflicting schedules, he resorted to channel his eloquence through a written message instead. He met Jinhwan a day before just to give the letter and ensure that it will reach Jiwon. He’s glad to know that the married couple is finally free and can love openly. Upon thinking of it, he momentarily wished for the same thing with Jiwon, to hold each other’s hands, kiss the man’s lips and hugged him tight in liberation.

“Look at me.” Jiwon commanded which he reluctantly did. “Junhoe,” he trailed while looking at his eyes full of sincerity and seriousness. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

Junhoe’s heart somersaulted. It was those eyes. It was those gazes that made him fall deeply. From that moment, he became hundred percent certain. He returned the man’s gaze with equal fervor and eventually broke into a wide smile, an assured one, before he lick his lips to tell Jiwon his answer.

_Dearest Ji,_

_Congratulations for embarking on a new milestone today. You were just an unnamed man whom I slept with months ago but look at you now, you will be leading a conglomerate at a young age starting today._

_I may not be there with you physically, but know that I will always root for you in all your endeavours. I am hoping you’ll be great at your inauguration ceremony._

_I’ll see you later!_

_Yours truly,_

_Junhoe_

_P.S. When can I say yes?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Foot note: 
> 
> I came across DAS in Global Playlist’s “Ending Again” Webdrama. It means dating after sex. From there, I thought of a plot revolving the main character’s pre-relationship story which started with a one-night stand thus, this story!
> 
> I hoped you liked the story. Thank you for waiting and for reading until the end. I am again apologizing that it took me so long to finish this story. Now, I can finally breathe. 
> 
> See you on my next one!


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